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I shouldn't be thinking about him right now, but I am. Because I always thought it would be him, you know? I thought he'd be the only person I'd sleep with my whole life. Guess that was naïve of me to think. Who falls in love at ten years-old and then marries that person? Spends their whole life together.
No one I know.
Maybe it's unfair, but I run my hand down Kyle's stomach, use his body to pull me back from the sad truth that hangs over all of us. I'm in love with someone who will never love me back and I slept with his brother because I wanted to feel...better, desired, wanted. The way Kyle's made me feel all week.
I should feel guilty about the way I'm using him, but I feel warm and content pressed against him right now. There's no trace of remorse.
This is so messed up.
But I want more.
"Can we do that again?" I ask into his neck.
His fingers gently graze my shoulder. "You're not sore?"
I pull myself up, climb on top of him, rub my thigh against his hard length. "A little. But you leave tomorrow, and I don't know when I'll get the chance to…"
I trail off as his fingers slip a piece of blond hair behind my ear. He's looking at me with so much adoration that it scares me.
What have I done?
Reckless.
This was really stupid and reckless.
But then he's guiding me off him, sitting up, grabbing another condom and I seem to forget all the panicky thoughts racing through my head.
He takes his time easing into me again. It's still tight and uncomfortable, but it feels a little better. Kyle showers me with kisses, moves slower, runs his hands all over my body. We're both breathing hard, soft moans escaping, bodies molding together.
I don't know how much time passes before his fingers slip between us. He rubs them against my center, has me clenching and coming all over him in seconds.
He follows right after, my name on my lips. "Jenny, Jenny, Jenny."
He holds onto me for dear life afterwards, like he's afraid if he lets go, I might slip away. So, I find his mouth and kiss him. I'm not sure why I'm trying to reassure him that I'm here, I'm real, but I am.
As he relaxes into my touch, my body tucked snugly against his, I feel something in my heart shift. A coming together. A mending.
I kiss him a little longer, push away the nagging feeling in my chest begging me to acknowledge that I have feelings for him.
Because that would just complicate whatever this is.
He's leaving tomorrow.
And I can't need Kyle right now.
"Our parents will probably be back soon," he murmurs against my lips.
I roll away from him, stretch out on the bed, groan softly. "I guess I should get dressed then."
"Unless you want them to know what we've been up to all evening," he teases as he plants a kiss on my temple.
"Mom would probably kill me," I exhale as I sit up, pull my knees up to my chest.
"Or give you one of those infamous Lainey Kearns death glares," he chuckles. The sound warms something inside my chest.
"They've been known to make grown men shake in their steel-toed boots," I laugh. "One time, she made one of Dad's employees practically crap himself when she found out he was taking two-hour lunch breaks."
"She doesn't scare me," he raises a daring eyebrow.
