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I couldn't keep getting swept up by Adam's charm. At the very thought of those words, I had to laugh to myself. At no time would I have thought in the past that Adam was charming. To be perfectly truthful, it was a bit of a stretch now, yet somehow, he seemed to so easily ensnare me in his web.
I liked his frankness, his unwillingness to blow sunshine up my skirt. But somewhere in the last week, he seemed to have developed the wrong idea about us…mainly that there was some sort of "us."
I couldn't trust his feelings in this situation. Not with everything else going on. Everything was confusing at the moment. And there was no way I was about to go rushing in with this guy when he was bound to decide once the dust settled that he made a mistake in declaring a desire for a relationship. I mean, Adam Rollins in a relationship?
Although, after having spent so much time with him, I really didn't understand what his hang ups were. I knew his family life was…challenging. But the man was obviously more than capable of love and nurturing, that much was obvious just from watching him with Wolfie. Plus, I couldn't deny the care he took with me, even if I really wanted to.
Between all the fun that I'd been having with Wolfie and Adam, and the amazing sex I was having with Adam, anyone looking in from the outside would be thinking I was nuts to be questioning this so much. But I was trying to do the smart thing here and keep my mind on the person who mattered the most: Wolfie.
I didn't particularly enjoy the thought of Adam eventually tossing me to the side, but what worried me more was what it might do to Wolfie.
I knew what it was like to grow attached to somebody and then have them disappear seemingly overnight. While my father had barely even dated while I was growing up after the divorce, my mom went about it like it was her job.
I've had more stepfathers than I could count, and I learned the hard way after the first two to not get attached. I mean, it wasn't like I was ever as close to them as I was to my own father—nobody could compare to Julian Miles. But the first couple of guys, I thought were going to be a part of my life forever. They clearly loved my mom. They claimed to have loved me, and maybe they did, but my mom was searching for something, trying to fill some void. She would get bored, I'd blink, and those stepdads would be out of there.
The constant revolving door was exhausting and, frankly, a little embarrassing after a while. But I had the backup of my dad and my amazing grandmother to be my steady rocks throughout my childhood.
Wolfie had already lost his parents. That meant that whoever was in his life at this point needed to be beyond steady, and it appeared that Adam was ready to do that, but it was no time to be throwing a relationship into the mix, especially between two people who were historically bad at relationships.
I abhorred the idea of Wolfie getting hurt because of something I was involved with. To be honest, I couldn't stand the idea of him getting hurt, period.
But there was something about the way Adam had looked at me that terrified me, and I wasn't sure any relationship could sustain that kind of intensity.
For me, the casualty would be my heart, but what about Wolfie? The moment I'd seen that drawing he made at school today, alarm bells went off in my head. I loved being close to Wolfie, but I didn't want to risk hurting him. I didn't want him to feel one more ounce of pain then he already had to.
Trying to get my mind off Adam was proving more and more difficult. I stopped at my office later that morning with a grim determination. I would look doggedly for the perfect therapist for Wolfie. I knew that wouldn't necessarily make the pain go away, but if it could help him process more easily, I would do whatever was necessary, even if that meant taking him to the Pokémon café every day of the week.
I would do anything for that kid, I realized.
Shit, Reagan, you're already in way too deep.
I was getting set up in my office when Cheri popped her head in the door. "Good morning, Cheri, I am so glad to see you. Listen, I need some advice. I really think Wolfie could benefit from a good therapist. Would you or any of your mom friends happen to know any around here who are good at making kids feel comfortable?"
"I can certainly ask around. But Reagan, there's something I needed to tell you—"
"I just want to make sure that he has all the resources at his fingertips. I mean, the poor kid is going through so much, and now, he's having all these awful nightmares. I don't want him to be scared to go to sleep, for God's sake," I babbled on, not noticing at first the look of discomfort on Cheri's face, but eventually, she broke in.
"Reagan, I'm guessing you haven't looked at your messages yet," she said, eyeing warily.
"No, I really want to get on this therapist thing for Wolfie first. What's going on? Something urgent?" I asked.
She let out a sigh. "There is a relative who has come forth and expressed interest in taking custody of Wolfie."
I didn't know why I was surprised. I guess the three of us had just been in our bubble for the last several days. It was a bit jarring to hear about an outsider. "Oh, I see. Well, as it happens, Dr. Rollins has made it clear to me that he has changed his mind on the issue. He intends to be the sole caregiver for Wolfie moving forward."
"That's wonderful," Cherie said with a slight smile. "But I think you want to look at that message, Reagan. This woman is very determined to get Wolfie."
I felt my brow furrow as I looked down through my messages on my desk.
"Get Wolfie? It's not like he's a family heirloom. This is a little boy we're talking about," I huffed as I located the message Cheri was talking about and skimmed through it, feeling a chill go down my spine as I read the words.
Cheri gave me a quick synopsis, filling me in on what her shorthand didn't cover. "She said that she's upset that she was not contacted sooner and that she is the right caregiver for Wolfie…and his estate. She also informed me that she's been doing a little snooping around on Dr. Rollins and that she thinks he's the absolute worst candidate to be a caregiver, that she will make this known in her bid to get custody of Wolfie." Cheri moved further into the office and sat down in the chair across from my desk. "Reagan, she was already talking to me about getting child protective services involved if she doesn't get her way. I think we might have a real fight on our hands."
Dread wove its way through me, and I felt the urge to kick the wall next to me. It was bad enough that we had to go through all this upheaval and change, and now, we had some other random person throwing their hand into the mix.
How the hell was I going to tell Adam about this? How the hell was I going to assure him that everything would be just fine when I couldn't shake the sense of dread worming its way through me?
I straightened my posture and sucked in a deep breath through my nose before leveling Cheri with a determined look. "Well, then, we will just have to make Miss… Baker," I said, checking my notes for the woman's name, "understand that there is nothing for her to worry about. Adam is an exceptional guardian for Wolfie, and he is the appointed guardian by his parents. So, there's really no argument here. We will just have to straighten out the misunderstanding."
