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Thieran buries his face against the crook of my neck, his breath hot on my skin even as his tongue darts out to taste me, slick with sweat. I comb my fingers through his hair, and he kisses me softly.
Rolling onto his side, he wraps an arm around my waist and pulls my back flush with his chest. He presses his lips to a raised scar on my shoulder, his fingertips gently brushing the underside of my breast.
“Stay with me,” he says, and it's the most vulnerable I’ve ever heard him.
Staying would be vulnerable for me too. Exposing myself to someone else in sleep without a dagger gripped tight in my fist. Allowing Thieran to hold me, his legs tangled with mine, his arm wrapped possessively around my waist. But as much as the wanting of it terrifies me, I don’t know if I can give it up.
“All right,” I whisper, snuggling closer and tilting my head to kiss the inside of his elbow as he pillows my head with his arm.
And just as I’m slipping into sleep, the cool sheet covering us even as Thieran keeps me warm, I hear him murmur against the back of my neck.
“You are mine to protect. Whatever it takes. Forever.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
The room is dark when I wake, the pillow soft and cool under my cheek. I know without reaching for him that Thieran is not here because each time I woke up last night, he was wrapped around me, his nose buried in my hair and his hand gently cupping my breast.
I’ve never shared a bed for an entire night with a man before. Or a god. But I liked sleeping in Thieran’s arms. I liked being woken up in the early morning hours with his cock too.
My lips curve into a grin, and I find myself disappointed he’s up early. I can’t imagine he’d object to me sliding down his length and riding him until we’re both satisfied.
Pushing myself up against the pillows, I notice my dressing gown and a clean set of clothes folded neatly at the foot of the bed. Slipping out from underneath the covers, I pull on the gown and belt it at the waist. It doesn’t smell like Thieran’s power, but it seems like something he would do. Or order to be done.
The thought that the servants might know I shared Thieran’s bed last night sends a wave of unease through me. But it’s not exactly a secret. He’s claimed me all over the palace and half the realm. His bed is the most private place we’ve been since he first fucked me in the forest. And I feel all the different for it.
A basin and pitcher made from black glass sit on a stand beside the window, and I cross to it, tugging the curtains back and allowing the Shadow Realm’s misty light to filter in. The water is warm when I pour it into the basin, which is definitely Thieran’s doing.
I dip a fresh cloth in and run it over my arms and face. I could do with a proper bath after last night, but I settle for running the cloth between my thighs and down my legs. I’ll ask the servants to prepare one for me later. Or see if I can talk Thieran into a trip to the hot springs.
The idea of him running soapy hands over my breasts and against my pussy has me shivering, and I move the springs to the top of my list. Plenty of time for everything else later.
The thought is equal parts comforting and unnerving, and I drop the cloth beside the basin, staring out the window at the ragged line of black trees. Thieran claimed me last night, and I gave myself over to him. Even if I didn’t say it out loud.
He hasn’t given me the choice of staying of my own free will. Not technically. I still felt the buzz of the wards when I took Meera out for a ride yesterday.
But I’ve made it all the same. I shift on my feet, catching my faint reflection in the glass, and wrap my arms around myself. The moment I slipped the book back onto the shelf after the shielding ritual didn’t work, I chose to stay.
The realization is heavy in the light of day, especially after last night. I haven’t spent so much time in one place in years, and the thought of doing it now, of doing it with Thieran, constricts my throat and makes my pulse pound. Running would be easier; staying detached would be easier too.
But if I left now, I’d be leaving a little piece of myself behind. And I’m tired of scattering myself across my past because I’m too intent on escaping it.
The rattle of porcelain against silver draws my attention to the bed where a breakfast tray has appeared. The smell of fresh bread and bacon makes my mouth water, but I need to see Thieran.
To assure myself that every word he whispered against my skin the night before was the truth. I need to tell him that as much as he never wants to let me go, I never want to leave.
Quickly shedding my dressing gown and tugging on my clothes, I snag a piece of bacon off the tray and pop it into my mouth. Doubling back from the door, I grab a piece of toast too. No sense in having this conversation on a completely empty stomach. It’ll hardly help with my nerves.
Thieran’s sitting room is decorated much the same as his bedroom in blacks and purples so deep it's hard to tell the difference between them. An ornate black and silver chandelier hangs over the seating area in front of the fireplace, and more silver candelabras grace the tables.
But it’s empty, and I step out into the hall in search of him. I know he has a study somewhere, but the palace is vast, and even though I’ve been here for months, I know I’ve yet to explore every room it has.
Stopping at the top of the grand staircase, I have the option of following it down to the main floor, where the dining room and closest stairs to my rooms are. Or I could take it up where I’ve been told are mostly rooms for Thieran’s dark court gods to use when they’re in residence.
Gripping the banister, I decide to go up, pausing with my foot on the first step when I hear raised voices echoing down the hall. I glance to my right. If I remember Kaia’s extensive tour from my first weeks here correctly, the other side of this hallway is mostly parlors and entertaining rooms.
I suppose Thieran’s study could be in this quieter section of the palace. Not too far from his rooms, but still with plenty of privacy. Abandoning the stairs, I make my way down the hall, stopping short outside of what must be Thieran’s study when I hear my name.
“You can’t keep putting it off like this. It’s not going to get any better just because you’re fucking her.”
