AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He bent his head and kissed my knee and the skin beneath his lips tingled. The wave of heat that erupted in me sent sweat trickling down my spine.
“Fine,” he whispered. “You’re asking me to eat your pussy until you come all over my mouth.”
The world broke, it shattered, it erupted. To hear that kind of talk from Merrick…that was a cataclysmic event.
My sex throbbed against the stool.
I knew it. I knew he wasn’t just classy suits and perfect manners. I knew that beneath it all, he had a side to him that did filthy things in the dark.
I let my head fall back. If I hadn’t been still drunk, I wouldn’t have had the courage to pound the last nail in my coffin.
“I don’t want my first time to be with Osian,” I whispered. “I want you to take my virginity. So show me how good it can feel. You always tell me that it’s your job to set the standard for how I should be treated. So do it. Fuck me, Merrick. Take me upstairs to your bed. Just this once.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
MERRICK
I did take her to bed, but not mine. She was still drunk when I closed the door and strode down the hall. Blood pumping, pooling in my groin. Ears roaring from the pressure.
I didn’t sleep that night, even after a long shower. An hour after waking, I found myself staring at my therapist through the haze of steam rising from my hot coffee.
Morning sun cut through the shades.
Making patterns on the floor.
Gretchen Hughes was organization adjacent so she knew who I was and what kind of life I led. And she specialized in my particular issues.
Adult attention-deficit hyperactivity with a side of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Not my cocktail of choice, but the one the universe had seen fit to serve me.
Luckily, I was doing well. After fifteen years of seeing Gretchen once a week and an extraordinary amount of discipline and hard work, I was the best I’d ever been. I had the tools I needed to deal with it, I knew my triggers, and I was able to see warning signs before they escalated.
“Why the emergency session?” she asked. “Are you having issues?”
I looked down at the teacup of espresso. Everything in Gretchen’s house was pretty and delicate. From her handwoven rug, to her silk curtains, to the cups she always served my coffee in.
I glanced up, steeling myself. Gretchen knew more about me than anyone. I’d confessed my darkest secrets and my most potent weaknesses to her. Her methods were unorthodox so we kept them under the table. I visited her in her home office and paid her in cash.
She told me the uncomfortable truths I needed to hear.
But only if I did the same.
She narrowed her eyes, cocking her head. Her hair was blonde and silvery, straightened to a silky curtain around her face.
“Edwin.”
My jaw twitched. Fuck, I hated when she called me by my first name. Especially right now, with everything I was going through with Clara.
“Can Edwin be off limits for today?”
She sighed. “Fine.”
We were both quiet as she waited for me to speak. She adjusted her seating, crossing one leg over the other. This morning she wore white heels to match her long, elegant dress.
“You never told me why you hate your name so much,” she remarked.
I cleared my throat. “It’s Clara’s father’s name.”
Her brow arched and she scribbled something on her yellow pad.
