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Saturday morning. I barely slept a wink, but how could I with visions of all that could go wrong—or right—spinning through my head?
The coffee is going to have to be extra strong. I send her a text.
“Hot coffee. Donuts. And Ranger. We’re all waiting for you. Come before your roller derby practice?”
There we go. A touch of humor and she can’t say no to Ranger.
“Okay,” she replies.
Well, it wasn’t a resounding yes, but “okay” is enough to get her over.
A quick tidy seems in order, except that everything is already clean. I need a way to occupy myself. I’ve been meaning to plant a tree in the front yard. Now is as good a time as any to dig a hole.
That’s what I’m doing when she arrives, rolling on her bike and not her skates, which eases my mind.
“You made it.” I try to smile, but the nerves are intense.
“Like I always do.” I don’t know what that tone means.
The dirt from the front yard seems particularly sticky today. I hold my palms up to her. “I’ll go wash these. Come on in and make yourself comfortable.”
Make herself comfortable? I’ve never said those words to her in my life, not the least because she comes and goes as she pleases with her own key.
When I’m cleaned up, I find her sitting straight-spined on the sofa with her hands in her lap.
The wave of weirdness is upon us.
“Tea?”
“Yes, please.”
She just said please. This is a disaster. I can’t possibly launch into everything I planned to say with the air between us like this. I’ve got to put her at ease. An innocuous subject, something to get her excited, bring her back to herself.
“So, that state competition. That’s something, huh?”
“Sure is.”
“Are you going to make up a new routine for it?”
“It’s against another team, not a routine this time.”
“Ah.” Keep her talking. “I’m glad you could find some time to stop by before heading to practice.”
“No biggie. This is my last practice anyway.”
“Last practice?”
She crosses her arms and looks away. “I’m quitting roller derby.”
“What? Why? You were amazing in that show!” She was the reason they got the funding from Mr. Huxton, I’m sure of it. She was a star.
“I’m a liability to them. They got the funds for the competition. Now it’s best I get out of the way.”
“Did someone tell you that?”
“No, but I can tell. They’d feel obligated to give me rink time, and that doesn’t feel fair. This is what’s best for everyone.”
I sit down beside her, but I feel her pull away. “Talk to them. I’m sure they’d tell you differently. Just ask Kasia–”
