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“How come I don’t have a dad like the other kids do at daycare?” I heard his soft voice ask her.
I really wanted to know the answer to that too.
For a couple of reasons.
The first was so that I could hunt the bastard down and beat the hell out of him for leaving her alone to raise her boy.
The second was to see if he wanted to ever come back into their lives and if I needed to move at warped speed.
The third was to shake the fucker’s hand for making that little boy in there. He was something fucking else.
Just as I had those thoughts, I heard her reply, and thank god I learned at an early age how to be fucking quiet.
“Booger butt, I’ll tell you all about it. But right now, you’re just too young to understand.”
“Mommy, I’m not. And it hurts, Mommy. I love you. I know I have you. But it takes a mommy and a daddy to have a baby. What about mine? Please tell me, Mommy.”
I could hear the heartbreak in that little boy’s heart, and damn if it didn’t make my own heart fucking bleed.
I heard her sigh, then she asked, “I’ll read you the story, now, okay?”
“Mommy…. please.” I was ready to wrap my body around that boy and protect him from everything that ever wanted to do him harm.
That was when I heard the book close. “I’ll tell you. But I need you to promise me that you always remember two things. Can you do that?”
“I can, Mommy. I promise.” Oh hell.
“Always remember that you did nothing wrong. And second, that you're completely perfect. Okay?”
I had a feeling I knew what she was going to say.
I’d get my dad to find the fucker, then I’d have him on standby to take me in after I choked the life out of that son of a bitch.
“You have a man that helped me make you. Well, help isn’t the word I’d use. When I was sixteen and staying after school, the teacher had to run to her car and grab something. In the time she was gone, someone came into the room, and he took something from me that I wasn’t willing to give. Then he did something that no one should ever do to another person. And that resulted in you being made. That’s the part that I will explain to you when you get older. The man that did that was caught, but not soon enough.”
“And Crew, I wouldn’t trade you for anything. If I could go back and change everything, I still wouldn’t do it. Because the man above couldn’t have given me a better son, even if he tried.”
It was a long few minutes before he asked, “Where is he?”
“He’s in prison. Turned out he slipped through the cracks, but his DNA didn’t. He was charged with twelve counts of the act he committed. He won’t be out of there for a long, long time.”
“So, I do have a dad.”
“In a way, Crew. But making a baby doesn’t give the person the right of being called a dad. You can have two moms. You can have two dads. You can have neither one of those and have a gramma and a grandpa.”
“I love you, Mommy.”
“I love you too, Crew.
I walked back to the couch on silent feet, thank Christ there were no creaks in her floors.
I let everything she said circle through me.
Would it be wrong to shake that man’s hand?
Because if he hadn’t done what he did, then I wouldn’t have the two of them in my life.
Nah, I’d shake his hand then I’d kill him. Simple as that.
