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“He took a partner when he moved to Capri, but their relationship was tumultuous at times.” He seems almost nostalgic as he goes over the tragic death of the controversial poet. “Maybe he was just disappointed in his life and his chosen lover.”
His words disturb me at a deep level, and I feel my skin rise in goosebumps as I turn to face him. Andries has his head tilted back, looking at the domed ceiling and ambient lighting. My worry for him spikes out of control. “Andries, is something troubling you?” I step forward, laying my hand slowly on his shoulder. “You can trust me, and I mean it.”
He laughs sardonically but doesn’t pull away. “Oh really? After hiding your little affair with my best friend from me you expect me to be able to trust you?”
“It’s not like I hid it from you for some nefarious reason. I kept it a secret because Ididn’twant to cause any conflict between the three of us. I know secrets aren’t okay, but I just didn’t know––”
I stop speaking when I see a figure in the open door archway; Dan, looking around curiously. It’s obvious he doesn’t sense the high emotion filling the room right now, and I internally curse his terrible timing.
“What room is this?” he asks, oblivious.
“The room the poet died in,” Andries deadpans, pushing past Dan and out of the room. Dan turns to watch him walk down the hallway, bewildered.
“What’s his problem now?”
I’ve still got a huge sense of fear for my brother, so Dan’s aloofness rubs me the wrong way. “It’s more than just a problem, Dan. He’s being really weird and saying really cryptic things… I don’t think this is Andries just being his normal level of dramatic.” I run my hand through my hair, letting the strands fall through my fingers. “Look… if you want to tell him, go ahead, just do it when I’m not there. I certainly won’t be the one to tell him myself, I can’t compound his misery.”
Dan curses, folding his hands behind his head and pacing the length of the room. “Fuck Elise, I don’t know! It should be Roxanne telling him, not us.”
“You know I agree with you.”
“She’s just being a fucking coward at this point, and doesn’t even care that she’s leaving us in such a difficult situation,” he adds, sighing.
I approach Dan, taking his hands and holding them in mine, needing the comfort of his presence. “I know, I know. But he seems to know already, and he’s just testing us at this point.”
“You’re probably right. We need to talk to her together and make sure she’s going to tell him. This can’t go on any longer.”
“I hate to ruin their vacation…” I trail off, thinking about how it will ruineveryone’svacation, not just theirs.
“El, if your brother knows and is hiding it, then their vacation is already ruined.” He must be able to see how frustrated I am because Dan lifts our joined hands and kisses my knuckles before letting me go. “Hey, let me go find our broody poet and try to talk to him man to man. Will you be okay on your own?”
“Yes. I’m just going to go walk a little more. I don’t want to be in this creepy room anymore.”
With that, Dan leaves, and I’m alone. Being by myself in the Opiarium is not an option, so I quickly follow the path Dan took down the hallway, but exit the villa in a different place than he does, that way he can have his alone time with my brother.
There is one area outside that I noticed when we arrived that I haven’t gotten to visit yet, so I head that way, enjoying the sound of my sandals hitting the stone path. Of all the things on my mind, Andries’s strange words and tone of voice when he talked about Fersen’s suicide has me very worried about him. He’s a giant pain, but the idea that he’s hurting so badly is tearing me up inside. It doesn’t matter how much he and I fight, I still love him. I want to say that I’d do anything to help him, but the fact that I’m still holding on to Roxanne’s secret for her proves that would be a false statement.
I’m so annoyed with my future sister-in-law, and I know that Dan is right when he says this can’t go on any longer. We agreed to talk to her together, but I decide to get a head start on things and text Roxanne so she has some time to prepare for the inevitable when we arrive back at our villa.
Elise: You have to tell him! You are putting us in a horrible situation, and we can’t keep pretending everything is fine.
She answers immediately, which makes me think she’s scrolling through the news articles about her cabaret on her phone right this second.
Roxanne: I’ll tell him once we are back home.
Elise: Not good enough.
Irritated, I shove the phone back into my purse, not even bothering to wait for whatever old and tired excuse Roxie is going to give me. It’s absolutely ridiculous that she’s made this go on as long as it has! Even if Andries doesn’t know, there is no possible way he can stay in the dark for four more days.
Outside, I make my way around Villa Lysis until I reach the edge of the cliffside and the long, winding path that leads further out over the water. At the end of the pathway is a pale stone pergola, separate from everything else. The promise of solitude calls to me like a siren song. I see Dan and Andries sitting on a bench under one of the stone pines, their heads tilted toward each other as they talk quietly. I hesitate, wondering if I should go to make sure Dan isn’t telling him about Roxanne’s Bar Rouge news, but stop myself. If he wants to tell him, that’s his business, not mine. I’m not getting involved.
Once I reach the pergola, I inhale deeply, letting my eyes flutter closed and the stress fades out of my bones. As I repeat this process over and over, I vaguely feel my phone vibrating in my bag. I choose to ignore it for some time, but finally, curiosity gets the best of me and I dig the device out. It isn’t Roxanne like I expected, but my mother instead. I realize now that I miss her, even if she’s being difficult by going along with whatever Dad says, and I’m happy to hear from her.
She’s sent me a picture of the entire family, sans Andries and me, at Lake Como, looking happy and healthy. The text below reads,I hope you’re having a good time! Love, Mom.
A smile comes over my face, and even though it’s a bit of a lie, I respond,Yes, Mom. Love you.
It takes some time, but right before I consider the conversation over and tuck the phone back into my bag, my mother sends another message.
