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“And the two of you…?”
He doesn’t have to finish the question. I know what he’s getting at. And she’s likely told him. “It’s not that I don’t want to answer your question; it’s that I honestly don’t know how.”
He winces. “That complicated, huh?”
“Have you met Mia?” I say with a smile.
He laughs. “Yeah, she certainly is something.”
“She means well,” I supply. I put my burger down as I struggle for an explanation. “She was my first friend…”
He nods, waiting patiently while I work to put my thoughts into words.
“We were roommates for years…and then, one day, we were more.” I slide my napkin from my lap and wipe my hands. “I can’t say I ever really thought about her…or anyone, for that matter, in that way. Sometimes I wonder if I’m broken.” My cheeks flame at that admission, and I look down at my burger in hopes of hiding the physical evidence of my embarrassment.
“Why do you say that?”
“I just…I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I never saw my parents together in that way, I’ve never really put much thought into relationships or sex…” I shrug. “Or any of it, really. The girls at school were obsessed with boys, sure, but there weren’t any around. We were literally surrounded by women twenty-four seven, and until we got licenses and could drive, boys just didn’t exist in our world. So people…experimented,” I say quietly.
Jay grins, and I pick up a fry and throw it at him. It hits its intended target, smacking him on the cheek, then it drops to the table next to his plate.
Laughing, he picks it up and stuffs it into his mouth. “What?”
“I see what your dirty mind is doing.”
We stare at one another, stupid smiles on our faces. He’s so easy to talk to. I don’t think I’ve spoken this honestly with anyone in years. Or smiled as much.
“Don’t stop now. The story was just getting good,” he says, eyebrows waggling.
I roll my eyes. “Shut it.”
He chuckles. “Come on. Seriously, I want to know this.”
“Know what?”
“Honestly?” he asks with a soft smile.
I nod, my chest feeling lighter than I think it’s ever felt before.
“Whatever you want to share with me. I don’t care whether it’s how you like your burger or if you have a to-do list you could read out loud. I like listening to you talk. But I am particularly interested in this conversation, if I’m being honest.”
“Somehow,” I mutter, still snickering, “you take a totally swoon-worthy sentiment and make it crude.”
He shrugs. “What can I say? It’s a talent. So go on, tell me about how you experimented.”
With a deep breath, I get control over my giggling. “For me, it was more than that. Mia was my best friend. My feelings got tangled up with it all. But you know Mia, so you probably know she’s not a one-person woman.”
“And you are?” he asks.
“I believe in loyalty. If and when I’m with someone again, they’ll be my sole focus.”
Honestly, I’ve never really been with anyone but Mia, yet I can’t imagine being anything but all about thatoneperson. If I ever find them.
“Me too,” he says firmly.
With a tilt of my head, I study him. “Really?”
Jay’s jaw goes taut. “I despise cheaters. But I’ve never really been in a relationship.”
