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My hand instantly finds his. “I’m sorry.”
Stupid, stupid Cat.
He glances at our clasped hands and then studies my face, his blue eyes dissecting me. “You understand,” he whispers.
I nod. “I understand.”
We’re both silent for a moment, but more is spoken between us in those few quiet seconds than has been said in the entirety of the last few weeks. There’s a tenderness in his eyes, a sadness, too, and for an instant, it’s like my soul has found a companion. I recognize his pain.
“How?” he asks.
I close my eyes. I’m not prepared to tell him who I really am. But I can share parts of me. “My mom died when I was six,” I admit. “And to be honest, I don’t think I’ve felt totally comfortable in my own skin since.”
I sigh. It’s a truth I’ve never voiced aloud. Losing a parent takes and takes and takes from a person. Suffering a loss that big so young stole away the idea that things could ever truly be okay. How can anything ever really be okay again?
Jay squeezes my fingers. “I’m so sorry, Kitten.”
I offer him a sad smile and am oddly comforted by the nickname.
“You’re so different right now,” I admit. “This guy…” I smile. “I like spending time with this guy.”
A rogue tear slips down my face. Jay immediately reaches across the table to wipe it away. “Better than the dickhead you thought you were having lunch with?”
I cough out a laugh as another tear escapes, and he swipes at that one too. I pull my hand out of his, embarrassed, and grab my napkin to blot my eyes.
The waitress returns with a tray, and I give her my attention, hoping my mascara isn’t streaking down my face. “Fred wants you to stop in before you leave,” she says as she places two cheeseburgers and french fries in front of us.
The works.I smile to myself.
“Thank you,” he says. “Can you grab us two iced teas when you have a chance?”
I fold my lips in to keep from squeaking in surprise.
“Of course, Mr. Hanson.”
When the waitress is gone, I smile up at Jay. I don’t say anything, though, for fear of more waterworks.
As if he knows I need a minute, he picks up his burger and digs right in. The waitress returns with our iced tea, and Jay holds his up. I raise mine too, and he tips his until they clink. I can’t stop the smile that spreads across my face. I don’t know why cheeseburgers and iced tea make for a perfect lunch, but it’s likely the best one I’ve had in years.
Maybe ever.
“How did you meet Mia?” he asks, throwing me with the change in topic.
“We went to boarding school together.”
He gives me a knowing glance. “So she does come from money,” he teases.
“I do,” I admit with a smile.
“Should I assume you’re an entitled asshole, then?” he says with a smirk.
I shrug. “Certainly could have been.”
We both smile, knowing it isn’t funny. None of it is, yet what choice do we have but to smile through it? To tease.To live.
“I’m sure Mia was a blast in high school,” he says before taking another bite.
I laugh. “Yeah, she certainly got us into plenty of trouble.”
