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“Only one at a time!”
I go right into everything that has happened, that we know of, from what happened at school and talking to the principal, to what we saw and what I just told them. The whole time I’m explaining everything, she just sits there and listens patiently, soaking the story up.
“Okay, so it seems like this girl hasn’t had anyone in her corner. I knew something was going on with her. She came over with bruises all over her. I was already going to do something, but what you told me just solidified my resolve. I’m going to see what I’m able to do on my part, so just leave it with me, okay, boys? I’m going to do everything in my power to get Paisley the help she needs,” she promises.
She gives each of us a hug and a kiss on the forehead and goes back into the living room with Dad.
CHAPTER29
PAISLEY
Friday,I think to myself, silently wishing it was any other day of the school week.
Wanting to avoid Mother as much as possible, I get up earlier than normal. I get in the shower just long enough to get the job done and get out. Needing to be out of the house sooner rather than later, I even forgo making her breakfast. She told me to go to school, so that is what I plan on doing.
This morning, I head to the meadow since I have a bit until school starts. Walking to my happy spot, I start to think back to last night and how Kade saw everything Mother did to me and how he wanted to protect me so badly. I don’t think he or the other guys truly understand what they mean to me now. I’m attached, and I honestly have no clue how that happened.
Fuck. Kade said he heard me sing last night. No one has heard me talk in nine years. That should tell me, at least subconsciously, that I trust them. I worry that once they know my deepest secret, they will run and I’ll be left with nothing. I can survive Mother’s beatings, but I know I won’t survive them leaving.
Finally getting to the meadow, I head back to the creek. Sitting on my favorite rock, I take my socks and shoes off. I want to dip my feet in the water.
FUCK!
The water is cold as fuck. I shiver. It’s like the cold has buried itself deep into my spine, traveling up my legs into my arms until it reaches my fingertips.
This might be the last time I can come here this season.
I notice that the weather is changing fast this season and because of it, it’s getting colder sooner and longer. Eventually, it will be snowing, and this meadow needs to stay a beautiful memory.
I came here one snowfall, and it didn’t have the same effect as it did from spring to fall. Everything was bare and covered in white, flakey snow. While yes, it was an amazing place to make snowmen, it wasn’t a place to relax or think. There were no leaves to rustle, flowers to smell, or grass to lie on. I learned my lesson that winter, not to come back until next season, and I have never gone back during the winter since.
Finally, I get out of my head enough to realize that it’s a little later than I wanted it to be before I started heading to school. I’ve become an excellent judge of time. Without electronics, I’ve had to rely on my internal clock to guide me most of the time, and it has yet to let me down.
Grabbing my shoes and putting them in my backpack so I don’t have to carry them in my one good hand, I head off to school. There is a pep in my step, and as much as I want to wonder why, I know the reason. My heart beats just a little bit faster in anticipation.
* * *
Getting to school before everyone else has its advantages. I get to pick the best vantage point to see everyone that comes into school. This also helps me blend into my surroundings and stay out of people’s way. What’s that saying? Out of sight, out of mind?
I also get to people-watch and see how everyone interacts.
As everyone starts to trickle in, I anxiously await the arrival of my guys. After what happened yesterday, I’m afraid of how they are going to look at me.
I kissed three out of the four of them, with no regard for the others.
On top of that, I still need to talk to Atlas about what he possibly heard from Quinn in second period yesterday.
Lost in my own thoughts, I get caught up thinking about the guys. I let myself think about how safe I felt kissing Luca. How when he was holding me close to him, I felt nothing could get to me in our little bubble.
When I kissed Mateo, I was able to be free for what felt like the first time in my life. I didn’t think about the consequences. I just did what felt right and went for it. It felt like it was one of those moments right out of a book.
Kade’s kiss was all-consuming. I lost myself in that moment. While Mateo’s was soft, gentle, slow, and freeing in its own way, Kade’s was demanding, overwhelming, rough, hard, and freeing, but in a different way.
Arms wrap themselves around me, and I take a few seconds to gather my thoughts, hoping it’s the guys before I have a panic attack. Looking over my shoulder, I see it’s Luca, and I instantly relax. Luca kisses my temple and helps me get to my feet.
He hugs me, and it’s like sunshine is wrapping itself around me. Luca has always been a happy person around me, and it’s pouring out from his hug. He gives me one last soft squeeze and then lets me loose, way too soon.
I’m afraid to turn around. I know instinctively who is behind me. I don’t know if it’s because of what happened last night or if it’s because I’m finally letting my walls down, but I know Kade is behind me, and I’m ashamed he saw what happened to me last night.
