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Jealousy.
That’s what this feeling is. Paisley kissed Mateo. Then he spun her around and kissed her back. I love my brothers, and I know we all want to be with her and I’m okay with sharing her. That is, if she is okay with it. However, I wanted to be him in that moment. I wanted to be the one she was kissing.
Panic.
She is panicking, and I don’t know why and I want to go over and kick Mateo’s ass. Did he force her to kiss him?
No. No. Mateo isn’t like that.
I just need to know exactly what happened. The guys won’t let me go over there, claiming that Mateo has it covered, and it seems that way after a couple minutes. It seems her breathing starts to slow back to a normal rate.
They start to walk back over here and that’s when I see it.
Apprehension.
I can see it written all over her face. She wants to be anywhere but here with us. But she also knows we didn’t do anything to her, so she is trying to push through her feeling of unease to appease us.
I see her.
We all wave goodbye to her, watching her walk away.
“So, what happened?” I sign with raised eyebrows and hands.
“I don’t know. One second, we were kissing and I was pulling her close to me, and the next second, she was having a panic attack. I helped her through it, obviously. She thought we would think something is wrong with her and not want to be around her. I did set her straight. Told her that y’all are still around after what happened with me, so y’all will be around no matter what happens with her. I did convince her to come over to the house on Thursday, though,” Mateo signs with a smile on his face.
“What? Seriously? Betty is going to be so happy. She has been on us to get her to come over!” I sign, grinning ear to ear. “Okay y’all, get in the damn car so we can go home and do our chores. I’m tired.”
* * *
This week has gone by in a flash. Paisley has let us sit with her at lunch every day this week and she continues to watch our conversation in fourth period. She chimes in when needed or when she wants to.
Today is Thursday, and I’m so fucking excited, just like the rest of the guys. I can’t wait to show Paisley my room.
Did I clean it before I left this morning?
I think I did. I’ll have to step away from the crew when we get home and double-check. Can’t have her seeing my dirty laundry.Literally.
Fourth period ends and I jump out of my seat. I grab mine and Paisley’s stuff. Since we don’t have to pay attention in class for the most part, we don’t have to get anything out.
“Let’s gooooooo! I’m so excited, if you can’t tell,” I sign, moving back and forth on my heels.
“I would never have guessed,” Kade signs.
“Oh, shut up. I just want Paisley to know how much this means to me. To all of us,” I sign.
“I know okay. All you have been talking about the past three days is today. I’ll admit that I’m a little excited. I’ve never been to someone else’s house in nine years. So you’ll have to tell me if I do something wrong,”Paisley signs, a little unsure of herself.
“You’ll be fine. Nothing you do will be wrong. We just want you to be yourself,” I sign to her, grabbing her hand.
Glancing to the side, I see Kade has entwined their arms since she can’t hold anything in her hand because of the cast. The feeling I get walking out of the classroom is probably the best feeling I have felt in over five years.
Unfortunately, that feeling is burst when Paisley is basically doused with some liquid again. You would think that it would get old, as this is the third time that I know of. Luckily, the day is over, and we can just go to the house right now. I get Paisley’s attention and start signing to her.
“Can you deal with this until we get to the house? There, you can even shower and you can change into something else while we wash and dry your clothes,” I sign vigorously.
She nods in agreement, and Kade and I pull her along with us to the parking lot to get her away from everyone as quickly as possible.
Seeing the other two walking down the sidewalk in front of us, I pick up our pace. The faster we get to the house, the quicker Paisley can shower and can get out of those wet clothes. I’ll have to ask Kade if he knows what happened. I don’t want to ask Paisley. She already goes through so much as it is.
