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“Yeah, I’m now seeing that.” And I couldn’t even blame her because I was one of the people who hurt her the most. “Jeez, what a mess.”
“Love is a messy thing.” My aunt’s tone dripped with amusement.
“It’s not funny, Ingrid. How did I end up falling in love with her?”
She shrugged. “There’s no way you can help it. The heart chooses who it chooses, and you would have been stupid not to fall for a girl like that.”
I knew what she meant. A sweet personality like Lisa’s was rare to find, especially combined with her strength and secret sultriness.
“Yes, she’s perfect,” I admitted grudgingly. “But it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t even like me much anymore.”
“Look at me,” Ingrid said, drawing my eyes back to her. “Do you love her?”
I nodded.
“Then that’s all that matters. You can win her back.”
Guilt trickled through me. “Maybe I shouldn’t. I’ve hurt her too much.”
“The past is the past. Do you really love her?”
“Yes.”
“Then that’s what truly matters.”
TWENTY-THREE
LISA
After Nick left, I finally released the breath and pent-up energy I was holding onto.
I thought I would feel better after giving Nick a piece of my mind. I thought I would be elated. Like I finally got to him. I saw the way his expression changed, the surprise and hurt on his face when I didn’t immediately fall for his declaration. And then I got the last laugh by being completely calm and collected when I shut the door in his face.
This was every scorned woman’s fantasy…to be able to one day reject the man who shattered her heart and confidence. To thrive without him to the point where his love declaration meant nothing to her.
Except I didn’t think Nick loved me. I meant everything I said to him in that regard. He loved the idea of me because I played the part of the cool unflappable chick who made no demands from him. I was the woman who took care of his secret child, the one he could have no-strings-attached mind-blowing sex with. I was the other half of a fake relationship that seemed easy and pleasurable, but it was only so because it wasn’t real.
If our relationship ever turned real, he would lose that ‘love’ quickly enough. Then, I wouldn’t be holding back the messiest, most sensitive parts of myself, and he would see I was the same vulnerable woman I always was. It would leave me open and vulnerable to getting hurt again. And if there was one thing Nick Walker was good at, it was hurting me.
You did good, Lisa,I comforted myself as I sat on the couch and took a couple of deep breaths.You showed up for yourself. You told him exactly what you thought, and you didn’t fall for any sweet words. You didn’t let anyone take you for a fool again. You did amazing.
So why did I feel like crying my eyes out? Why did it feel like my heart was shattering into a million pieces?
Because you still love him.
The statement was a quiet thought, but the devastation that followed was anything but because I knew it was true. Somehow, even with everything that happened, I developed feelings for Nick Walker again. Or perhaps I never completely lost my feelings for him in the first place. Either way, as much as I tried to protect myself against him, he still wormed his way back into my heart anyway. And it would hurt like hell to get him out again.
Especially because I knew there was no way I could cut him out of my life completely. Not with Violet involved. Nick adored his daughter, and she loved him, so it wouldn’t be fair of me to keep them apart.
“Mommy?”
My daughter’s sweet voice drifted down the steps, and I glanced over to see her rubbing her eyes as she emerged. There was a rose pin in her hair, which meant she’d started using the new set that Nick got her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked as she wandered toward me.
“Nothing’s wrong,” I responded.
“Then why are you crying?” One little hand came up to my cheek and wiped the tears there. I didn’t even know I was crying until then. I glanced down at her hand and held it in mine, bringing it up to my lips for a kiss.
