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“I don’t think you’re—”
“You most certainly think I’m stupid.” Smoke practically steamed out of her ears as her eyes flashed with anger. “You think all you have to do is say that you love me, and I’ll just do whatever you want because I’m so desperate for your love, is that it?” She shook her head, heaving an exhausted-sounding sigh. “Don’t bullshit me. That’s one thing I can’t accept from you. You can use me to get off, to save your reputation, or even to piss off my brother. That’s fine, but the one thing you won’t do is lie to me.”
“Use you to get off? Piss of your brother?” The words were like bullets. “What are you talking about?”
She shook her head. “Nothing. Listen, I don’t want to yell anymore. Violet should be waking up any moment now. Would you like to see her?”
“Wait a second.” I stopped her from leaving, turning her back to me. “Explain.”
She crossed her hands over her chest. “Carson came to see me. He told me what you said to him in the office about just using me to piss him off. Actually, more accurately, he recorded everything and played it back for me.”
That slimy bastard. Of course, he would do something underhanded like that. I was a dumbass to have fallen for it.
“I didn’t mean any of it, Lisa. I just said all that stuff to get under his skin.” It was the truth. That first night with Lisa might have been about pissing off Carson, but everything ever since we reconnected has just been about us. Her brother never even came to mind.
“Even if I believed you, Nick, I don’t actually care.” She flashed me a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Besides, I know you too well. You mightthinkyou love me now, but that’s because I’m giving you everything you want and not making any demands of you. This isn’t a real relationship, and I’m not a real person to you. I’m just someone you can use, your beloved child’s mother, and soon, I’ll be a nice memory. But I’m notreal.” I shook my head at him. “And you will never know the real me because I won’t let you. I learned my lesson the first time, and unfortunately for you, I value myself more now. I will never ever let you in again.”
Pain arced through me, and I swallowed hard. I won’t lie; her words hurt. They stabbed at me, and it’s because she wasn’t completely off base. She spoke of a familiar man, the man I used to be. The asshole who used women and tossed them aside like it was nothing.
But that wasn’t true anymore. And it especially wasn’t true about her.
Not that she would believe me anyway.
I let her go, trying to keep the pain, bitterness, and sadness from showing. I nodded once. “Fine. Don’t believe me if you don’t want to. Doesn’t change how I feel.”
“Are you still going to see Violet?” she asked, and I shook my head. I did want to see my daughter, but not like this.
“I’ll come back when she’s awake.”
Her face was carefully expressionless as she nodded. And then she slowly closed the door on me.
I drove for miles after. I wasn’t sure where I was going, but I just kept driving until I somehow ended up at my aunt’s house.
She opened the door before I even got out of the car. “Nick, what a nice surprise.” And then she must have caught the look on my face because her smile instantly vanished. “Oh no. What happened?”
I didn’t know what to tell her. The words were still running through my mind, and I didn’t want to say anything, so I simply smiled at her. “Nothing.”
“I know it’s not nothing.” She sent me a disapproving look. “I know that face too well. Tell me, what’s wrong?”
I shook my head, but then she came toward me and put her hands on my cheeks, making sure I didn’t look away. She stared at me until I felt like a teenager again, wanting to confess all my crimes.
Besides, I did want to talk, if only to release the pressure in my chest.
“I told her I loved her,” I said, and I heard the frustration bubbling out of me. “And she didn’t believe me.”
“Who?”
“What do you mean who? Lisa, of course.”
“Oh.” She frowned. “Well, why wouldn’t she believe you?”
I sighed and thought about it for a second before I began telling Ingrid the whole story—the real one. About the fake relationship, Lisa and my deal, and finally, me falling in love with her.
By the time I was done with the whole story, Ingrid just blinked at me, astounded. “Wow.”
“Yeah,” I responded, letting out another loud sigh. “And now she won’t believe I love her.”
“Well, of course, she won’t.” There was a little smile at the corner of her lips. “You haven’t given her any reason to believe you love her. And your words aren’t good enough. She doesn’t believe them anymore, and frankly, she doesn’t have any reason to.” She shook her head. “When I met her, she struck me as someone who has been betrayed a few times and has a lot of reasons not to trust. Words won’t cut it.”
