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When I finally made it to the very back of the library, I dropped into a hard wooden chair at a table and buried my face in my hands. I should have been happy to be back with the ravens—that was what I’d wanted all along—but I was living on borrowed time. Sooner or later, this malevolent demon magic inside of me would burst out, or I’d shift into a hybrid beast like Fane.
My hands fell to the table, and I traced the scars digging into my palms from the metal shard I’d used to kill my first demon. What would my life be like if Fane’s brother had never stumbled into the warehouse that night and murdered my friends?
The twins would probably be doing their pickpocket thing. Shelly and Van would have broken up or moved to another town. A smile tipped the edges of my lips. Jayla and I would have our own place, a small two-bedroom apartment. I’d have a job while she went to school. She’d get in trouble for talking too much in class, but her teachers would let it slide because, like me, they’d fall for those big eyes and cute grin. She’d have them all wrapped around her little finger.
And Fane Maverick never would have barreled into my life, wrecking it beyond repair.
A lump rose in my throat, and my neck tattoo tingled at the thought of never meeting the demon shifter. I ground my teeth and choked back a string of curses. I hated that a part of me felt ill at never knowing Fane.
What the hell was wrong with me?
“There you are.”
My head snapped up as Hawk trekked into the cramped area nearly enclosed by bookshelves, relief softening his features.
If Warin hadn’t killed my friends, I never would have met Hawk, but my thoughts hadn’t gone there. They were too focused on Fane, no matter how much pain and heartache the prick caused me.
“How did you find me?”
“McDonough saw you bolt in here.” Hawk lowered into the chair next to me, running his hand over my arm. “Are you okay, Strawberry Shortcake?”
I flashed a smile that felt faker than Roxie’s friendly personality. “I just needed to get out of the cafeteria. It was too crowded and loud.”
He reached forward to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering on my cheek. “I hate that you went through this alone. I should have been there.” His gaze averted to the bookshelves as if he couldn’t bear to look at me. “We’re partners, and I should have had your back.”
I grabbed his hand and lowered it, squeezing his fingers. “You didn’t know about the mission.”
“When I found out, I should have demanded that my aunt send me after you, especially when you didn’t return within a few days.” He palmed the back of his neck as a flush spilled into his cheeks. “We’d just had that big fight, and I was jealous you got to go on an important mission. I’ll never forgive myself for this.”
“None of this is your fault, Hawk.” I rubbed his shoulder, his tense muscles shifting beneath my palm. “You couldn’t have known what would happen. You couldn’t have stopped this.” If Hawk had gone on the mission to steal the Infernal Sol, there was no telling what would have happened, especially with Fane in the mix.
Maybe we would have made it out of the Underworld unscathed.
And maybe Hawk would have died, and I still would have ended up with the Infernal Sol.
“Do you forgive me, Tate?” Hawk’s voice was barely more than a whisper.
I scoffed. “None of this is your fault.”
He shook his head. “I mean for that night, you know, after initiation. Our fight.”
“Oh.” Catching Hawk and Roxie screwing seemed like a lifetime ago. I had more important things to worry about than my crush being with someone else. “It’s water under the bridge or whatever.”
Of course I was still hurt and heartbroken, but there was no point in wallowing in the pain.
A little voice whispered Fane’s name in the back of my head as the reason I didn’t want to dwell on Hawk’s betrayal.
“Really?” A smile spread over his lips, bringing out those dimples that used to make my heart flutter. “I thought you’d hate me.”
I scowled. “I could never hate you. You’re my best friend and—”
He darted forward and pressed his lips against mine, his tongue trying to slip inside my mouth.
My chair almost toppled over with me in it as I shoved him back. “What the hell are you doing?”
Hawk blinked. “What do you mean? I thought you wanted this. You forgave me.”
What in the ever-loving hell?
