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Kane shifted in his seat, glancing at me before he responded. “Yeah, but she didn’t learn that until last night.”
“She mentioned that to me when she called this morning,” Alida said.
All except for the part where I broke into his house through the window and punched him multiple times. I bet next time he’ll check the locks before he leaves.
“Kane, Brie said you know about her night terrors.” Alida slid her glasses up higher on her nose.
He nodded. I assumed he was waiting to see what direction Alida was taking the conversation before he said much. I was curious about where she was going with the session, too.
“Over the last several years of working with her, I’m pretty sure they’re parts of her past that are trying to reemerge. With her amnesia, we really don’t have anything to go on.”
Kane glanced at me, then back to Alida. “What about when she was found?”
Alida offered me a supportive smile. “Brie, do you feel safe talking about that today?”
“Yeah. I would actually like to get to the important stuff. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. I’m ready to learn what happened so I can move on. I need closure.” I tucked my hands beneath my legs, trying to control them from shaking. If Alida noticed, she would stop the session.
“Okay, why don’t you tell him? I think it will help if you take control of the narrative,” Alida said.
“Sure. From what my parents have shared, they were driving home from visiting relatives in Montana. It was at night, so they almost didn’t see me. It was Mom who saw my hand poking out of the jacket. She said I was wearing all black, so she wasn’t sure what she actually saw at first. Mom talked Dad into turning around, but he made her stay in the car until he could figure out what was going on. Mom said as soon as she saw the horror in his expression, she jumped out to help. They gently rolled me over. I wore a dress, had cuts and bruises all over my face, and I was barely breathing. Dad called 9-1-1, and they stayed with me until the ambulance showed up. Mom found some blankets in the trunk and covered me up while they waited. Later, she learned that she saved my life. I had hypothermia.” I paused for a moment. “I don’t remember any of it. I don’t remember the week I stayed in the hospital, the doctors running tests on me, or being diagnosed with amnesia. I don’t remember the cops talking to me, asking about my parents, family, or where I was from. This is all secondhand information from my parents. Dad said they searched databases across the country, looking for clues to where I’d come from.” I looked at Kane, finding comfort in his dark-brown eyes. “We still don’t know. Nothing ever turned up, and I haven’t ever remembered.”
Silence filled the room. “It was so cold that night, Brie. We were supposed to escape together, but they noticed we were gone. The dogs were barking in the background, and I realized they were close to us. I told you to leave.” Kane closed his eyes, pain etching into his features. “I knew that if I didn’t distract them, neither of us would have made it out. You promised you would bring help but never came back.”
Kane stood, then disappeared down the hall.
“He needs a minute,” I explained to Alida. “He remembers everything, and from the little he’s shared, it was really bad for him.”
“Brie, are you sure that you want to know all of this? In the end, what are you hoping to find? Peace? If so, I’m not sure that reliving the trauma will help you move forward. You’ve come so far and built a new life. You’re healing, and I would hate to see you go backward.”
“Sorry,” Kane said, rejoining us.
“Take your time, Kane. There’s no set schedule to get through this,” Alida said.
“Yes, there is,” I blurted. I reached over and placed my hand on Kane’s. “The important thing is that he feels okay about sharing the past. You shared your concerns, but just to be clear, it’s my decision—mine and Kane’s choice, right?”
Alida winced, then tried to cover her slip. “Yes, you’re in control of your life, Brie. I do have concerns, though. I would suggest that we have some sessions with Kane so I can support you with processing whatever he has to share. You’re my client, and although I want Kane to be okay, my priority is your safety and mental health.”
“So, you don’t think I should tell her?” Kane’s tone was low.
“I’m not saying that, but maybe don’t tell her everything. Maybe just enough to help her finally have some answers so that we can address the night terrors and help her move forward. Over the years, we’ve also found some great tools for her to manage her anxiety and depression. She’s doing really well.”
Kane took a deep breath. “Brie, I’m sorry. I need some more time. It’s not just about you. Opening up about the past again affects me as well. I’ve worked my ass off to keep the monster at bay, and you’re asking me to open it and dance with the devil.”
“Kane,” I whispered, tears pricking my eyes. “Please, don’t do this.”
“Brie, try to hear what he’s telling you. Whatever happened has the power to hurt both of you. Kane has made progress by leaving it behind. Do you really want him to relive it?”
“If he doesn’t, then I’ll hurt for the rest of my life. I’m missing years, and we all know my night terrors are what I lived through. How am I supposed to confront it if he won’t tell me what happened?” My hands clenched into fists, anger surging through me with such force I couldn’t sit still. I glared at Kane. “If you’re not going to help me, then leave.”
“Brie …” Regret flashed in his gaze.
“Leave. Now.” I pointed at the door. “Get out.”
Kane stood, his shoulders sagging. “Nice to meet you, Alida.” He glanced at me one more time before he walked out of my house, taking my hope with him.
ChapterTwenty-Nine
Kane
