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I stayed where I was, acting like I was getting some more tomatoes while randomly looking up at Stevie and then at Avery over by lettuce. We were all yards apart but Stevie was quickly closing the distance between herself and me.
“Zac, do you want jalapeno peppers to put into the ground beef?” Avery asked, looking over her shoulder at me.
“Sure,” I said, and she walked over to the pepper section.
I looked back at Stevie and she had her tempest blue eyes on me again. She was also still coming toward me and I was wondering what kind of scene was about to happen here, but there wasn’t one. Seconds before Stevie reached me, she glanced over at Avery, who had her back to us, met my worried gaze and quickly ran her fingertips across my stomach, making it quiver like before. She never made a sound, she didn’t speak one word, but her presence was so loud.
I watched her from the corner of my eye as she left the produce section and then tossed a couple more tomatoes intothe plastic bag I was still holding. Avery walked back up right after that with the jalapeno peppers, and as we headed toward the checkout, I wondered if Stevie and I were going to cross paths again inside this huge place. I hoped so. I also hoped she somehow knew I was simply going through the motions with Avery, all in an effort to keep the peace.
I got what I’d hoped for as soon as Avery and I made it to the checkout lines. Stevie was on the fourth one and I pushed my buggy to the fifth. While Avery was placing our groceries on the counter and talking to the cashier, I kept glancing over at Stevie. Her body language said so much. She was pissed off but I knew it wasn’t at me because on one of the occasions that I glanced at her, she just so happened to glance over at me at the same moment and she winked. It was exactly what I needed from her. It was a confirmation that we were okay despite Avery being back in Dallas.
Stevie left Whole Foods before Avery and I did, but I still looked around the parking lot for her as soon as I exited the store. I didn’t see her anywhere—but then I did. The timing of it and where I saw her, sitting in her car, had me hiding my smile from Avery again. Stevie was stopped at the crosswalk that Avery and I were currently crossing. I cut my eyes over at her and quickly patted my chest twice, above my heart. I hoped Stevie knew it was my way of telling her that I loved her. When I stole one last glance at her, she patted her heart twice and I stopped hiding my smile.
“That was delicious,” Avery said, wiping her mouth with her napkin. “You’ve always been such a good cook, Zac.”
We were sitting at our dining room table and had just finished our homemade tacos, refried beans, and rice. Avery’shelp in cooking the meal had consisted of dicing up the tomatoes.
“Well, I’ve had a lot of practice.”
“I know you have, and I appreciate every meal that you’ve cooked for me and for Malcolm.”
“You’re welcome.”
“So what would you like to do now?”
“I’m gonna have a Hendricks and tonic.”
“I’ll have one too if you don’t mind making it for me.”
“But you don’t like gin.”
“I’m willing to try it again.”
I sighed. “Okay.”
I got up from the table and started picking up our plates but Avery stopped me by putting her hand on my arm.
“I’ll clean up all of this, and the kitchen, if you’ll get our gin and tonics ready.”
I searched her brown eyes, then handed the plates to her. “Thanks.”
While I was making our drinks and Avery was doing what she said she was going to do this time, I kept thinking about how I could not continue going through these motions with her. I didn’t like the look in her eyes and I didn’t like her touching me. I already knew where she was going to try to take things tonight and it wasn’t happening. I would never fuck her again.
I took a shot of Hendricks while Avery was loading the dishwasher, then poured two more into my glass of tonic water and lime. I needed to numb myself but not so much that I didn’t still have my wits about me. I was going to have to continue watching Avery’s moves as closely as I’d been doing since she got home.
When she finished cleaning up the kitchen, she grabbed her drink off the counter then walked up to me. I was leaning againstthe refrigerator and had already drunk half of mine but Avery still wanted to make a toast.
“Here’s to a good meal, a good drink, and even better company. Cheers, Zac,” she said. Then she clinked her glass against mine. I didn’t say anything in response to her toast. I just watched for her reaction after she took a sip of her gin and tonic. “That tastes good to me this time. It’s refreshing,” she went on to say.
“Really?”
“Yeah. I guess my tastebuds have changed.”
“Okay then.”
I knew Avery suddenly liking gin was a lie because I’d seen her slight wince when she took the first sip of it. She was putting on a good act though, and I was just going to let her continue running with it while I sat back and watched the ridiculous show.
“Do you feel like sitting out by the pool?” she asked, looking down at my mouth and then my jawline.
