AllFreeNovel
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I don’t care what he has to say anymore. His approval is meaningless; his rage is impotent.
I’m free. For the first time in my life, I’m free.
I’m terrified and I don’t know what I’ll do, but at least I’m free.
Still willing to have me? I text to Tina.
Girl, get your ass over here, I’ve always wanted a roommate.
I grin to myself and start to pack.
Chapter 30
Ford
Three Months Later
Jackie staresat me over a cup of coffee while a cigarette curls smoke up into the air. She drinks, takes a drag, and I have no clue how she manages to do both at the same time without choking.
“You know Ford, I’ve come to a conclusion,” she says and puts down the coffee. She jabs the cigarette at me and crosses her legs. “You want to hear it?”
“I’d love nothing more.”
She gives me a look like I’d better not give her bullshit, but she goes on. “I’m going to make this sobriety thing work this time.”
“I’m willing to bet you’ve said that before.”
She cackles and takes a drag. “You’re not wrong.”
“What’s different this time around?”
She blows smoke into the air. It swirls and fades, and I watch it go. The sun’s bright and warm on my skin and it’s a beautiful day out back. Nearby, Jonathan’s doing his addict yoga, and the Director is leading group in the shade of a huge oak tree, and I have to admit, for a rehab clinic, it’s actually kind of nice here. I’ve been visiting a lot over the last three months and I’ve actually struck up a real friendship with Jackie, and even though I haven’t seen or heard from Kat since the day she came to tell me to leave her alone, I still keep showing up here and talking to her mom.
Kat’s the one topic we never discuss. Whether it’s because Jackie doesn’t want to hurt me, or because Kat asked her not to, it doesn’t matter and I don’t want to know. We talk about everything else except for the one thing I really, really want, and I have to be okay with that.
“I’ll be honest with you, Ford. This time’s different because of you.”
I arch an eyebrow. “Why, little old me?”
“Don’t be fucking cute.”
“I’m never cute.”
“Right, whatever, just listen.” She takes a breath like she’s steeling herself. “It’s always been my family. For as long as I can remember, my father’s been in control of everything. Money, resources, whatever, it always came from Daddy, and when things got bad for me, he could use his influence to push me into doing whatever he wanted. That’s how the cycle always went: I’d fuck up, he’d swoop in and fix things, and I’d end up in rehab for a while. But I neverwantedto get clean.”
“Now you want to,” I say and she tilts her head from side to side.
“Yeah, well, for once I feel like I have a reason.” She takes a long drag and blows more smoke. “But we don’t talk about that, do we?”
I feel a coldness spread into my feet. I sit up straighter and meet her gaze, trying not to let my heart beat out of control. “That’s been our one rule.”
“An unspoken rule. And I’m about to break it.”
My jaw tightens. “Jackie—”
“Katherine talks about you, you know.” She takes a drag. “That’s the messed-up part. We never talk about her, but she always talks about you. I don’t tell her about your visits, but she still manages to mention you at least once every time she’s here.”
I close my eyes. “Don’t.”
