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ChapterTwenty-Three
Sebastian
Ihave my assistant clear my calendar for the morning. The thought of seeing Paislee again excites me and I find myself distracted by thoughts of her the whole morning. I did not realize how keenly I would feel her absence. While we had been in our lavender haze, I had not quite pictured it ever coming to an end. I got used to going home to Paislee, and planning events and schedules around her and Callie. These past two weeks have felt like two years. I miss her terribly. My heart aches as I remember, yet again, the pain I have caused her.
I keep busy with emails, knowing that attempting anything more serious would be a big joke. When 10:30 a.m. finally rolls around, I call Robert to pick me up. I head toward the door and as my hand drops on the knob, I don't pull it open. Instead, I whirl around and move back to my desk. I feel like I'm being controlled by something, or maybe it's all me.
When I go around my desk, my gaze immediately zeros in on the picture of Charlotte. I pick it up gently, tracing my fingers over the face of the woman I have loved for so long. This weird habit has always calmed me. But it's different right now. The emotions that would usually course through me as I’m doing this, do not this time.
I hold Charlotte's portrait in my hands, but it is Paislee's face that I see. It's Paislee's fiery red hair and her winning smile. Paislee's forthrightness, her intense love that I felt even before she professed it. Paislee loves me and I know it.
When I drop Charlotte's portrait on the desk once more, I realize that it does not feel right. Charlotte will always have a place in my heart. I, however, have begun to fall in love with someone else—Paislee.
The realization gives me pause, and I blink. Finally, I understand why I have been so miserable. I am head over heels in love with Paislee. I love waking up to her beautiful face. I love the way she smiles right before she orgasms. I love the way she loves and cares for Callie. I love the little things that make her, her.
I pick up the portrait once more and, giving Charlotte a final loving gaze, pull my drawer open and drop the portrait inside. That phase of my life, the life I lived with Charlotte, is over. It's time to move on. It is long overdue. I have never felt ready, until now. I'm going to do everything it takes to win Paislee back.
* * *
Paislee
I arrive at the Honeywell Diner early. I have been unable to focus on anything else after the phone call with Sebastian. I miss him. I realize that even though I still haven't forgiven him, I do wish to see him once more.
I step into the diner, and I’m immediately greeted with warmth and the scent of freshly ground beans. I breathe in deeply, glad that I do not feel nauseous anymore. The morning sickness has been awful. I chuckle a little at my ignorance and how I thought the symptoms were due to post-heartbreak.
I realize that I suddenly feel hungry, famished even. It’s one of those order at the front diners, so I move toward the counter and order a coffee to start with. I walk back to claim my favorite booth and they bring my coffee to me. Less than ten minutes later, the door is pushed open, and in walks Sebastian.
He's dressed in his tux, a black one this time. His hair is brushed back, and that incredible jawline holds my attention for far longer than I care to admit.
I gulp, suppressing arousing memories of sliding my lips over that sculpted jaw and the stubble that tickles my lips. Sebastian looks straight at me and begins to move toward me.
Sebastian, like always, draws attention to himself with the self-assured way he strides toward me. I try not to feel self-conscious about what I decided to put on: A plain sweater with leggings and casual flip-flops; my hair up in a lazy ponytail. Sebastian doesn’t seem to care and looks at me like I'm the only woman in the room. He doesn't take his eyes off me until he gets to me.
"Hello," Sebastian says when he's close enough for communication.
"Hi."
I feel like I'm in high school again.
"Sorry, I'd ordered before you got here."
"It's alright."
"What should I get you?"
"Coffee. Black."
I nod and move again toward the counter. I go ahead and grab Sebastian's cup, since it is ready immediately.
When I take my seat opposite him, his eyes run over my body, and I suppress a shiver. It's a little awkward. The tension is so thick I can literally cut it with a knife. As I open my mouth to break it, Sebastian beats me to it.
"Paislee... I understand that what I did was terrible. I'm truly sorry I ruined what you have worked years for. I was selfish and couldn't handle your rejection. But in the midst of all that, I think a part of me has always wanted to be close to you."
I shake my head.
Sebastian looks sincere, and his eyes are dull with regret. I just can't get past the fact that he sabotaged my career for his personal gain. I'm not sure I'm ready to forgive him. Regardless, that isn't even what I am here to talk about.
"I don't think I can get past what you did, Sebastian,” I tell him. “I feel like all these months I've only been a pawn for you. A dog you have put on a leash and decided to string along."
