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“Dylan was worried about how you'd react.”
That seems to upset my mother further.
“I'll admit I would have been concerned about how his leaving to go on this trip would work out for the two of you, but I still can't understand why neither of you said a word.”
“We didn't need to. You knew anyway.”
“Hello, hello.”
Austin's voice echoes down the hallway a second before I hear the front door click shut. The moment my brother walks into the kitchen, I know my mother didn't figure it all out on her own. Mum definitely would have said something before now if she'd known.
“You told her.”
Austin kisses Mum on the cheek before walking over and hugging me. “Don't be mad. I was worried.”
He sneaks a piece of carrot off my chopping board, even as I try to shoo him away.
“You had no right. I told you exactly what was happening between Dylan and me. I told you I pursued him. There's no reason to be worried.”
“Claire, I saw the look on your face that last night at Brody's. It broke my heart.”
“I'm fine.”
“Bullshit. Kara told me how you reacted to the photos of that chick with Dylan.”
I pick up the knife and start chopping again, taking out my anger at my brother on the vegetables. “When did you speak to Kara?”
“I bumped into her down at the shops.”
“Great. Why don't we discuss this thing between you and Kara, and why she never agreed to go out with you. She never told me you asked her out.”
“We're not talking about me and Kara today.”
“Why? You want to talk about me and Dylan.”
“Honey, you can't expect us not to worry about you,” my mother says. “It's clear you're hurting.”
Putting the knife down once more, I turn around and take in my mother and brother's concerned faces. Why does this feel like another intervention?
“I'm okay.”
“Really? Because I thought having the man you've been in love with for so many years leave the country would be a pretty big deal.”
I can only gawk at my mother. Kara knew how I felt about Dylan. My friends all knew. And my mother knew. How come I didn't know until recently?
Self-preservation. That's the only excuse I can come up with.
“Why didn't you ever say anything?”
“I didn't think you were ready to see it or hear it. You were protecting yourself and your heart, and I understood it even if I didn't like it. So I stood back and watched you date those dull and boring men. I watched you try to find happiness with them when it was obvious there's only one person your heart wants. You're such a strong, driven, determined woman, but stubborn to a fault. I'm so surprised but happy to hear you finally put your fears aside so you could fully experience the love that's been growing in your heart all these years.”
“But now he's gone and I'm here.” And it hurts.
“Because you let him walk away.”
“I didn't have much choice.”
“There's always a choice, Claire.”
