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“Are you missing your family?”
“I'm missing my girl.”
“Oh.” Lana frowns. “I thought you were single. If I knew you were seeing someone...”
The silence between us is awkward and Lana gives me a pained smile as heat sweeps up her neck and face. By insisting I was single to myself and Claire, I blurred lines everywhere. The woman in front of me feels bad for something that really isn't her fault.
“Technically, I'm single. I was seeing someone before I left Melbourne. It ended when I left because we both thought it was for the best, but...”
“But you're not over her.”
I laugh. “God no, I'm in love with her.”
I have no idea where the words came from, but they're true. I'm not sure I've even been conscious of the fact before, but I know it now. All the way to the marrow in my bones. Maybe I've even been in love with her since I met her or maybe I fell in love with her at some point during the past months. The truth is, it doesn't matter how long I've loved her. What matters is the fact I'm not ready to let her go.
I never want to let her go. She wants a husband and children and a house. I have no idea how things would work out between us – I have no idea how to give her what she wants while living the life I want, but I'm determined to try. No Dylan 2.0 is going to swoop in and take my girl. We have to figure something out.
Would she wait for me if I asked her to? Or should I cut my trip short and go back to Melbourne early?
“Right, well, I guess that answers my question about whether you wanted to go out for dinner tonight.”
Lana is forward and seems sweet, and if I wasn't crazy about Claire, I would definitely be on board for some fun with the hot blonde, but the only woman I can see myself with is Claire.
“I'm sorry for making everything awkward and not talking about her in the first place. I never meant to lead you on.”
“You didn't. I just...you seem like a really nice guy and I'm into you. Never mind. I'm not the kind of girl to go after someone else's guy. So,” she points at the door. “Now that I've embarrassed myself enough, I'm going to go.”
“There's no need to be embarrassed. I feel like shit. I should have said something sooner.”
“It's no biggie.” She smiles at me and I smile back at her. After a moment, she opens the door, pausing at the last minute. “Hey, D.J.”
“Yeah.”
“You should tell the girl how you feel.”
Yes. Yes, I should.
35
Claire
“I miss Dylan. It feels so strange to not have him here on a Sunday afternoon.”
It's no surprise that my mother misses Dylan. Anyone who knew him would miss him.
“Well, for me it's a relief he's gone. I don't miss his big brother act.”
Actually, I'd do just about anything to have him back in the country, acting like Austin's watchdog again, but my mother doesn't know about the relationship I had with her favourite non-son.
Mum shakes her head, her mouth tightening. “Claire, come on.”
“What? You know we used to get on each other's nerves.”
Mum sighs and puts down the wooden spoon she was using to stir the pot in the kitchen. “Were you ever going to tell me you were seeing him?”
I put the vegetable knife I was using down to stare at my mother. “How did you know?”
“How did I know? Really? I know my daughter. At least I thought I did. I don't understand why you didn't tell me.”
