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When Sunday rolled around, and she still hadn’t contacted him, he couldn’t take it anymore. He stopped by the apartment to see all three roommates in the kitchen, as if nothing were wrong.
“Hey, girls,” he said, staying in the doorway.
“Have you eaten yet?” Holly asked. She glanced up from a pot, as if it were the most normal thing to ask. It had been days since touching, since even speaking, and yet . . . Now that she was a few feet away and he wasn’t lost in his own desire to flee, he saw the pain behind her smile. He’d hurt her.
He even saw it in Diane and Aimee’s surprised expressions. “No, I’m fine,” he said, cautiously, “I just wanted to stop by and see how everyone was doing on your first week.”
“Busy,” Aimee said. She grabbed Diane’s arm and dragged her toward the back room. “Actually, we have to go study. Why don’t you two talk?”
“What about din—”
“We’ll eat later,” Diane said, shooting him a glance.
The hallway door shut with a snap, and the two of them were left alone in the room. The spoon in Holly’s hand shook. Eric sighed and took a few tentative steps toward her. He was an idiot. In trying to hold his feelings in, he’d kept Holly on the outside.
“Sorry I haven’t been around lately.” He’d take all the blame if it helped her feel better. “I’ve been abandoning you too much, huh?”
Slamming the spoon back on the stove, she turned off the burner and spun around. Instead of her usual smiling eyes, they were fierce and full of contempt. “You haven’t been the only one who’s been busy. I’ve been working overtime. I signed up for my internship in town, and I’ve purposefully left my phone at home because I didn’t want to talk to you. It was a blessing you didn’t call. I wouldn’t have had time.”
Digesting her words hurt, but he’d deserved them. “I know we haven’t talked about my internship . . . and about what me and Mom said about it, and I’m sorry. I wasn’t—”
“It’s not your fault.” Her voice was a tinge softer, but it still held bite. She gestured to a chair, and they both sat. “Look, I think we should have some space. We both have big decisions to make, big things in our future. I want to maintain our friendship, but I think it’s time to slow things down.”
Again? His heart raced. Wait, this wasn’t what he wanted. “I don’t want that.”
“This week without you was a breath of fresh air after last week’s disastrous vacation.”
His throat tightened. “You thought it was a disaster?”
“And you didn’t?”
“I mean, I was a—”
“And I admit I was a little . . .” She trailed off, but she didn’t have to say the words.
“Holly, I was a little confused, being around my mom and all. She got in my head and made me a little gun shy, and I felt us growing apart. But I think I’m over that.”
“You think?”
He licked his lips and nodded.
“That’s not enough for me.”
He dropped his head. “So, you’re breaking up with me?”
“No, I’m saying let’s take some space until we both figure out what we want.”
Irritation and desperation rolled through his mind. If only he would have been straightforward. But they were so young, and saying those few words that made all the difference, I love you, and, Let’s spend our lives together, felt too final. Too scary. But he hadn’t wanted to break up. “Whenever people say that, they never get back together. They just fall apart. We’ve already done that once, remember? We were both miserable. Just because I hesitated, it doesn’t mean I don’t want you by my side. All week, I’ve thought about you. I wanted to call, wanted to hang out, even.”
“Then why didn’t you call? Why didn’t you ask me out?”
“Because you didn’t call either.” He glanced over at the stove. Mac and cheese. “Why are you eating that? Did you run out of food again?”
Her expression flickered with worry. “No, I just have some unexpected expenses. I just found out I can’t stay here during the semester that I’m doing my internship.”
“Aren’t there any apartment openings?”
She shook her head and sighed. “You really don’t know much, do you?”
