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"I'm so sorry," Kendallsays.
"You don't understand. We weren't really together." My hands work on my gear as I explain how Ben needed a girlfriend, how it was easier to land Vane as a client by acting. “I apologize for pretending in front of you, but it seemedeasier."
They don't lookmad.
"Let's go talk," Renasays.
"I should get to work on an assignment," Lil says, but I grabher.
"Stay."
Her eyes brighten, and I wonder how much I've kept her out of the messier parts of my life for wanting her to see me as having everything together. As if her knowing the truth might mean she’d turn her back on me like Vidid.
The four of us take seats on the benches in the foyer of thegym.
Kendall says, "You realize the only people you were fooling wereyourselves."
"Youknew?"
"That you and Ben were crazy about each other?" Rena says. They exchange a look. "Yeah, it wasobvious."
I pull my knees up to my chest. "I've cared about him for a long time, but I never thought he was into me. But sometime this month, thatchanged."
Ben saw me, wanted me, and for the first time, I knew it was real. I could picture a future with him as more than the naive dream of an infatuated college kid dealing with questions about life and abandonment andidentity.
My chest tightens at the memory of the gala. "It's been a rough week. I learned that Vane's not going with Closer for his resort business, so I've been trying to get that back on tracktoo."
"You will," Kendallsays.
"And we'll help," Renaadds.
"Me too." We turn toward Lil, who shrugs. "Come on, you guys must need some economic models orsomething?"
Their support loosens the tightness in my gut, the weight that feels as if it’s been lodged there allweek.
“To be fair, the guy’s name isDick Vane.” Rena crisply enunciates each syllable. “We should’ve known he had a douchestreak.”
Lily laughs, Kendall shakes her head and even I can’t stop the smile. “That’strue.”
"You're a badass. We love you. We look to you. We want the best for you," Rena saysfirmly.
A tiny sliver of hope edges in. Maybe there’s something good on the other side ofthis.
"And Ben loves you too,” Kendall says. “He's not running from you; he's running from thefeeling."
I glance toward a group of climbers heading past us for thegym.
"Thank you guys,” I say. “There's something I need todo."
* * *
Igo homeand pull out thepostcard.
It's minutes or hours before I write aresponse.
Vi,
Do you remember when you went on that school trip and I refused to go because I couldn't line up a ride home? You broke your ankle running and blamed meafter.
