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“What the fuck?”
My eyes jerked open, and I saw the same old glow in our chests had erupted. Jack looked at me in wonder, his eyes burning phosphorescent green in the radiant light, all his carefully constructed barricades brought down for one moment. The crystal behind us flared with an answering glow, bolts of green light shooting from the tips and joining with all the ones on podiums around the room and up to the mezzanine level. My hand burned bright when I reached out for Hawk, my other grabbing Jack’s hand.
“Join up,” I said, not understanding why. Instinct road me hard right now. I needed us to link. There were some disconcerted looks, but everyone did so, and I heard that note sing within me.
It wasn’t quite right. Brandon was missing, which soured the pitch slightly, but as it was, we were enough. Hawk ga
sped as the wounds on his arm glowed bright red under the shirt, and then slowly, they got smaller and smaller until with a snap, they were gone. People pulled away from me, and I didn’t like that, but they moved to untie the makeshift bandage, hands falling away when smooth brown flesh was revealed.
“The fuck…” Slade said, but Finn just looked across the circle at me and nodded. There was a whole lot in his gaze, but the thing I grabbed on to with both hands was the peace, however fractured. But I didn’t get to dwell on that.
Jack scooped up Hawk and tugged me close, his arms wrapping around the both of us as hard as his considerable strength could manage. I fought it for a second—breathing was a bit difficult—but then laid my head on his shoulder.
For a moment, I just was. I just breathed, just drew in their musky masculine scent along with the metallic aftertaste of blood. I just felt their hard, strong bodies, complete again. I breathed when they breathed, I felt what they felt, and then it all fell away.
“What the hell is this?” Jack said with a start, looking around him.
This time, the psychic space was formless, a never-ending golden expanse, filled with shifting rays of bright light.
“It’s OK,” Hawk said, moving closer and putting an arm around him. “Jules showed me this. It’s a pack thing, some kind of psychic space we can go to with other members.”
“So, no one else can see?”
“Not that I know of.”
Jack nodded, staring down for a second before throwing his arms around the other man. I watched in awe as Jack’s shoulders and whole torso shook. There was no sound, but I watched the tears fight their way out of the man, painfully by the look of it.
“Jack…” Hawk said, helplessly stroking the other man’s back. “Jacky boy.”
“Don’t fucking ‘Jacky boy’ me,” Jack growled. “You’re never doing that shit again. You sit tight with Jules and keep her safe.”
“And are you gonna do the same?” Hawk pulled back, looking into Jack’s face, brushing away the tears there. “You think my heart wasn’t in my throat when you shot that fucking thing and it got up? This place is dangerous, we knew that before we came.”
“I…” Jack’s face twisted into an ugly expression. “You never should have put that mark on me. I should’ve never let you come.”
Jack couldn’t have hurt Hawk more if he’d punched him. The other man’s face fell, his thick beard somewhat hiding his expression, but the pain was writ large across his face as he stepped back from Jack.
“You want me to break the bond?”
“What? No. Hawk—” The other man brushed his hand away when Jack reached out. “Fucking hell…”
His hands went to fists, the golden light around us cooling, shifting to a pearl grey, then a purplish storm cloud colour as he held himself still, appearing to fight something inside him. Hawk remained resolute, arms across his chest, eyes boring into Jack, even as the air around us started to boil.
“I fucking love you, alright? I love you, and you’re my mate, and you made it real. There’s no fucking escape anymore. We can’t pretend to the world we’re just fuck buddies. I can’t tell myself lies about what we are. I wear your mark on me.” He jabbed a finger at his neck. “We’re bound together until the end of time as far as I’m concerned because I’ll never fucking stop, and that means my heart gets fucking ripped out when I see shit like that wolf tearing into you. When fuck knows what happens next. You are my heart, Hawk, and I’ll be fucked if I know what to do about that.”
“You fucking idiot.” We both turned to look at Hawk at his unusual response. He reached out and jerked Jack to him, holding him just as hard. “You love me, that’s what you do. You don’t run away or lash out at people. You give me what I fucking deserve—your heart.”
I realised I needed to get out of here. I was some weird interloper in their relationship. We had some hot sex sometimes, and there might be the possibility of something with Hawk, but I was not at a level of intimacy with either of them yet that I could be a participant in this. I reached, for reality, the ruins, one of the guys, I didn’t care. Just any way out of this.
“You’re not getting away that easily.”
I jumped to see the two of them were now right beside me. Jack pulled me close, burying his nose in my hair.
“You’re mine too,” he said, his voice small and muffled, as if saying the words out loud was somehow frightening. I felt…spacey and exhilarated and scared all at the same time, only able to calm myself by stroking his hair. “If you want to be?”
“Jack…” He drew back, his eyes searching my face, and his expression was about as vulnerable as I’d ever seen it. I’d have to answer really quickly, before those barricades slammed up again. “Of course, I want that. I felt like I was in the way.”
And I did. They were much harder for me to navigate, these two, but when I considered that idea, I realised I wanted to. Even if at times I was a spectator to what went on between them, which would take some getting used to, I wanted to.
