Page 169 of Giving Up


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“Volkov asked you to kill him…” I swallow the news. “Is that what you do? You fight for Volkov? You kill people for him? You…after what happened to us? After what they did to Dad, to me?” I point at the tattoo on his neck. “That’s who you are, isn’t it?”

“Let me take you somewhere you can sit down and rest. Somewhere we can talk.”

“If Emily knew you were here…”

“Don’t.” He goes rigid. “Don’t mention her.”

“She loves you, Aaron.”

“I didn’t come back for her, ‘Me. I came back because I was forced to.”

“Please, don’t sound so happy to be reunited,” I spit sarcastically.

“This isn’t a reunion!” He rages in frustration. “This is me, telling you my situation so you understand why I can’t fucking stay.”

“If you’re not here to stay, I don’t want to see you,” I reply coldly. “Leave. Disappear again, we were doing fine without you.”

“Clearly,” he deadpans.

I shake my head with disappointment. This is not my brother.

His shoulders sag and he looks at the ground then back up at me. “’Me,” he whispers. “I missed you. I miss you every day.”

I shake my head again. “Don’t,” I reply as my throat constricts again.

“I live every day with the guilt of having destroyed our family.”

“Stop talking,” I cry.

“I need to tell you.”

“I know!” I seethe. “Do you think I haven’t figured it out by now? You were a shitty rebellious asshole who got involved with the Wolves and somehow it didn’t end up well. They had a grudge on you, and you turned to dad for help. You got him killed, you got me shot. You got yourself too deep and then you couldn’t come back because of the guilt. I know, Aaron. I know, I know. What do you think? That I’ll forgive you because you feel like shit? Because you come back three years later with half-assed apologies? Because your boss asked you to kill Jake and you realized I was in love with him so you spared his life? It’s too little, too late. You’re not even planning on staying.”

He clenches his jaw and I almost feel him bite his tongue. “You’re right. It’s too late.”

My phone rings, making me jump. Seeing Jake’s name on the screen makes the panic come back tenfold. It’s mixed with some relief, and I don’t know if it’s going to be him on the other side, or someone announcing his death.

“Jake?” I pant into the phone. My heart is beating out of my chest.

“Where are you, baby?” His voice is small, but I recognize it. It’s raw and hoarse. Like… someone who’s been strangled would sound like.

“Jake,” I cry. “Are you okay? Where are you?”

“I’m still at the factory, but I’m okay.”

“I’ll come to you. I’m not far,” I answer in a hurry.

“No,” he cuts me off. “Go home. I don’t want you on the North Shore tonight, it’s too dangerous. I’ll meet you at your house.” I could confuse his words with care, but his tone is so cold. I can hear he’s still trying to protect me.

“Promise me. Promise me you’ll come. Promise me you’re okay.”

“I promise.” But it still sounds so detached, he’s still keeping an emotional distance between us. “How will you make it home?” I hear him cough and I know he called me as soon as he could.

I look at my brother, hesitation on the tip of my tongue. “I’m with Aaron,” I admit.

“Angel,” his voice softens. There’s a pause before he talks again. “Don’t be too hard on him.”

I want to agree, but I can’t.

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