Page 168 of Giving Up


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His voice is so calm, so quiet, that I almost don’t hear his words.

The silence that falls between us is my brain completely shutting down. I just don’t understand anything anymore.

“What?”

“I didn’t kill him,” he repeats a little louder.

“I-I saw it,” I stutter.

“I put him to sleep. Someone had to look like they were dying or that fight would not have stopped.”

“Where is he?” I sob. “You’re lying, aren’t you?” I push him again. “Where is he?!”

“’Me, you and I need to catch up before you go and lose yourself again.”

How can he keep so calm? Doesn’t he understand my life means nothing anymore?

“I’m not losing myself! I don’t need to catch up with you, I need to see Jake!”

“Jake is going to be fine.”

“I want to see him,” I insist. I can’t hold onto false hope. I need to see it with my own eyes.

“I’m not lying, Jamie.”

“I don’t know you! I don’t know who you are, I don’t trust you,” I rage.

I can see my words hurt him. And I try not to care, but I do.

Aaron is right in front of me, and all I want is to see Jake. I need it like my next breath. I don’t care if we’re meant to be together or not, I just want him to be okay.

“It’s me,” he rasps. “It’s still me. I promise.”

The truth hits me so hard I struggle to breathe.

“Where were you?” I demand. “All this time…all this time I looked for you, you really were with Volkov?”

He nods his answer. I don’t think I could take the words anyway.

“Why?”

“Let’s get you home. You’re in shock, you’re tired.”

“I can’t go home, Mom is there. I don’t want her to see you.”

He takes a step back at my words, but he nods again, and I know exactly what he’s not saying. I haven’t seen him in years, but I can still read him like an open book.

“You’re not staying, are you?”

“I can’t.”

“Then why did you come back?!” I shout.

“Because you were in danger. Because Volkov wants to weaken Bianco and ordered me to kill Jake. Because the Wolves and the Bianco Family are at war, and no one is safe from them. Especially if you’re involved with Nate or Jake White.”

“I’m notinvolvedwith Jake,” I attest. “I’m in love with him.”

“Fuck, I get it okay?! You two are in love with each other, trust me I felt it in that ring. That’s the only reason I didn’t kill him.”

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