Page 167 of Giving Up


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Billie gulps, but she doesn’t move, her courage unbreakable.

I feel a presence behind me before I hear a voice. Busy with these guys, we had forgotten another person was coming.

“Take your catch and go away, King.”

I barely recognize Aaron’s voice. I hadn’t heard it in so long. It sends a shiver down my spine and my heart goes into its confused state again.

You missed him. He left you behind.

You’ve been looking for him for so long. He didn’t want to be found.

He’s your brother, you cried his loss. He killed Jake.

My God, he killed Jake.

Caden grabs Billie by the upper arm and brings her close to him with a force that makes her cry out.

“Hey!” I snap, but my brother’s hand is on my shoulder. The other grabs my arm, keeping me in place.

His touch is so unfamiliar. He’s a stranger, a murderer.

I can only watch helplessly as the group of three boys take Billie away. As soon as they’ve left the alley, he lets me go.

I wasn’t sure what my reaction would be, but it’s instinctual.

I turn around and slap him hard across the face.

“You fucking bastard,” I cry out. I push him, I claw at him. His face is already beaten up from the fight and I add to it.

He lets me for a few seconds, until he grabs my wrists and keeps me at a safe distance. When did he become so strong? When did he get tattoos? When did he grow tall and big?

This isn’t my brother, it can’t be.

“Calm down. Fucking calm down, ‘Me.”

The mention of my nickname brings me down. I can’t do this, I’m just not strong enough. My legs give up for a second, but he keeps me up with his hold.

“Calm down, please,” he whispers.

He grabs a small bottle of water in his back pocket and gives it to me.

“Here, you’ve been sick, you should hydrate yourself.”

What a fucking joke. How can he pretend to care? I still take the bottle and clean my mouth. But as soon as this silence is over, my rage is aimed at him again.

“How could you?Who are you?”

Visions of the past years without him hit me. All the tears my mom and I have spilled. All the times looking for him. All the trouble I got myself in.

“How could you?!” I shout. “Do you have any idea? Do you…how could you…” I let my cries take over my words while I struggle to take a much-needed breath. “I hate you! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,” I sob on repeat.

He lets me. He doesn’t say anything.

“You have no idea what I’ve been through…” I’m getting whiplash from my brain switching from hating him for disappearing to hating him for what he did to Jake. “You killed him,” I cry out. “You murdering piece of shit. Oh my God Aaron you just broke my heart, you just took everything from me!”

His name seems foreign on my lips, but the hate is real.

“I didn’t kill him.”

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