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The industrial park on the North Shore is made of two hangars and an abandoned factory. I think it was an old paint factory, but it shut down after the crash of 2008, and that’s when most people on the North Shore of the Falls lost their jobs.
Nathan said Jake was in the factory, that the hangars were for petty fights and training.
I can’t believe this is actually happening. All this time Jake wanted to keep me out, to protect me, and here I am about to be the one who saves him. Or at least I hope so.
It is clear what Nathan meant, Jake could die going into that fight and I won’t let that happen.
There is no way I’m letting that happen.
My heart is beating hard in my chest, to the drums of impending action. The fear of inevitable doom.
My stomach is twisted in knots no sailor could understand. The kind of anxiety coursing through me is worse than what I was feeling when I was waiting for Volkov’s men to trap my dad. It’s different this time, because underneath the fear there is braveness. It’s buzzing under my skin, it’s tickling my throat making me want to scream a war roar.
If I can take out anything from being involved with the Whites, it’s the courage it has brought me. I’m not the little girl I was when I met Jake. I’m not the meek and quiet goody-two-shoes who fears thatsomethingwill happen to her, who waits for fate to decide her future.
No, I’m stronger, I’m braver. This year I’ve let go of parts of myself I had always believed were qualities when they actually were lies. They helped me hide who I truly was in order to survive following the trauma and fear of death.
Jake brought out parts of me I wish I had never hidden. I’m not a shy girl, and I’m not weak. I like having my voice heard. I’m a leader – or I wouldn’t enjoy leading my lacrosse team so much. I’m a decision maker, a problem solver. I have strength running through my veins, accepting that this year has made me more calculating and less accepting of people trying to step over my feet. And the best thing was not only discovering that but learning that I can let all of them go when I want and for who I want.
Like Jake.
I learned that it feels delicious to be strong and then submit to him. That the best thing isn’t letting him take over my life and control everything I am. No, the best is being exactly who I’m supposed to be, and then giving him the gift of controlling my body. That’s the fine line we are slowly learning together. He is finally starting to understand I won’t be a doll he can control all the time and use for his every whims, and I’m finally understanding when I will fight him back and when I will happily give in.
It took me long minutes to cross the industrial park and reach the old factory. All the windows that would have been in use before are covered with metal plates that make it impossible to see inside. A huge sign hangs on the only accessible door that remains:
DANGER KEEP OUT – DANGEROUS SITE
Yup, dangerous alright if people are fighting to death in there.
The door is large and made of metal with only a rectangular window at the top of it.
Nathan laughed when I asked if there was a password or something. He said to knock and walk in like I know what I’m doing. They rarely ask questions, and they usually check the tattoos of people who come in – to see who they belong with – but just leave it if it’s hidden under clothes.
It’ll be fine, it’ll be fine, it’ll be fine, I chant in my head.
It will, right? Because after everything we’ve been through, Jake and I deserve our happy ending.
Please, Lord, we really deserve it.
I check my watch, I only have ten minutes before Jake starts his fight. That’s ten minutes to get in and talk him out of it. To convince him that Nathan has got his back. In short, ten minutes to achieve the impossible. Jake hates his brother with a passion, it’s what drives him.
I have to convince him.
I knock three times hard on the door and check myself. I was looking for a job on the main street this morning. My outfit screamed Stoneview when I met up with Nathan.
He opened all the buttons of my blouse and instead tied it in a knot at the front, my red silk-like bra showing. We borrowed scissors from Silver’s and he shortened the length of my skater skirt so much that my red lace booty shorts show every time I take a step. I look like Britney Spears in the Baby One More Time music video. A petite version with less shape, I guess.
The head of a man appears behind the high rectangular window, and I frown. How does his head reach this high? Please tell me he’s standing on a step or something.
He opens the heavy metal door, and it takes everything in me not to widen my eyes. Nope, no step. Just a giant, bald man that is about three times my size.
I keep my face blank, and ignore him, walking in as if I should be here. I walk with a sure step into a long, thin, dark hallway. The walls used to be painted white and there are only peelings of paint left on them.
Keeping my head high, I can see a black curtain at the end and my heart somersaults knowing I’m practically in. I’m walking past the curtain, looking at another steel door, when I hear bald-man’s voice.
“Hey!”
Pretend you didn’t hear him, just open the door.
