Page 157 of Giving Up


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I push the door open and I can already hear a rowdy crowd at the back. The sound was imperceptible in the hallway but that’s all I can hear now. That and…

“Hey! Ching-chong!”

What the actual fuck.

I turn around in a split second.

“What thefuckdid you just call me?” I rage.

Stoneview is a normalized racist town. Meaning that it is somehow progressive while still keeping the whites privileged. Meaning, I can feel the racism but can’t always point it out. It’s far from great, but no one would ever blatantly call me racist slurs.

Clearly, this bigot never got the memo.

“You from here?” he asks.

“Areyoufrom here?” I growl back before realizing he means the North Shore of the Falls and not, you know, the US.

“You look lost, little girl, you clearly don’t belong here.” His voice isn’t that threatening but as he walks toward me, his size makes me want to shrink into myself.

Stay strong, stay strong.

“So,” he smiles. “I’ll ask again. Are you from the North Shore? And if so, which crew are you with?”

I open my mouth to answer when a voice rises behind me.

“She’s with me, Shawn. And I’ll make sure to give you a free nose job if you call her that again.”

A hand wraps around my arm and pulls me through the steel door. The heat hits me in the chest, the lights are strobes that blind my eyes, a mix of black and white on repeat, and the sound of the loud crowd renders me deaf for a few seconds.

I’m pulled through another door and the sound dies. The strobes are replaced by a blinding, industrial, white light and I have to put my other hand in front of my eyes. My steps resonate in the empty hallway until the person pulls me through another door, stops and lets go of my arm. I blink a few times before the familiar face clears in front of me.

“Jamie fucking Williams, the last person I expected to see here,” Billie says with a smirk on her face as she crosses her arms over her chest.

Shit.

I was ready to fight a racist giant that looked like he was about six-foot-eleven. But tiny Billie Evans with her big doe eyes and unthreatening face, that might be a little harder than I would like. Because I’ve received a punch from Billie before, and I don’t know where this girl hides her strength, but I know I don’t want to be on the receiving end of her fist another time in my life.

“I don’t want trouble, Billie. I’m here to talk to Jake.”

“Jake is busy,” she replies coldly.

“I know, but he’s about to make a huge mistake.”

She laughs at me, mocking my naivety. “Trust me, no one here is making a huge mistake. They’re just being forced into it.”

“Where is he?” I implore. “Please, we can put our differences aside for one night if it means saving someone’s life.”

“God you really are just a privileged naïve bitch.”

“I’m just trying to help!” I rebut. “You don’t even have a reason to hate me except that your ‘boyfriend’,” I make sure to quote-unquote with my fingers, “was mine before he was yours.”

God, I sound so damn childish right now.

I do, but what is she even doing? She helped me go past racist Shawn, defended me for what? Just so she can hate on me herself?

She shakes her head as she laughs. “You’re fucking delusional.”

“Are you seriously not going to tell me where he is?”

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