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If I had stayed here in Georgetown and gone to a medical school that was much nearer, one that allowed me to see Amanda every now and then, maybe we wouldn’t have fallen apart like we did.
And she would never have given Dan a second glance because I knew that she was loyal like that. He would never have had the chance to get to know what a beautiful human being she was, and treat her feelings like trash, playing up to her only when it was convenient to him.
She wouldn’t be hurt like this, wouldn’t be scammed by an asshole who was too stupid to realize what a rare treasure she was.
If only I had stayed.
But I didn’t, and I was proving to be just as big an idiot as Dan was when I left her.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
AMANDA
Ilooked up to the bright sun spilling into the large windows of the kindergarten, filling it with natural light. All around me, the children had taken up various positions while painting. Some of them were using the easels. Some of them were on the table, wielding their brushes. Many more were scattered on the floor, on their hands and knees, using their hands as they smeared bright splashes of color on their individual canvases.
It was a bright, cheerful scene but I was feeling hollow and terrible inside.
What a stark contrast I am to the children, I mused, shaking my head at myself. If I wasn’t careful, I would let on more than I really should. Children were incredibly perceptive and bright. Too many adults made the mistake of underestimating them.
I didn’t want to be one of them.
I sighed and opened up the book the kids had picked for me to read today. Cora, one of the shyest little girls in my class had held it up to me when I asked for their suggestions earlier this morning. She had brought the book with her from home.
The rest of the class were much too excited to sit still. After all, this was the last day of classes before summer vacation started and the kids were pretty excited.
“There was once a little duck who couldn’t bear to fly away from her pond,” I began to read. “She loved its calm waters. She loved the way the reeds rustled as the breeze blew through it. She loved the way the sun shone on it day after day after day.”
This sounds pretty familiar,I thought. But still, I decided to keep reading.
“There were many other ducks in the pond but they never stayed around for very long,” I continued. “When they would come, they would tell the little duck of all their adventures around the world. They told her of trees taller than the reeds and buildings taller than the trees! They told her of the fascinating creatures they met and some of them seemed strange and beautiful to the little duck. How the little duck loved their stories of this big, fascinating world but there was just one problem—she would have to leave her pond to see it.”
Ah, there is always that little catch there,I realized. I, too, dreamt of seeing the world. Europe, in particular, appealed to me.
I wanted to see Paris all lit up.
I wanted to ride a gondola in Venice.
I wanted to see the spires of Prague.
I wanted to trudge through the snow of the Swiss mountains.
But, like the little duck, I could never leave Georgetown. So, I spent my free time scrolling through pictures of beautiful places around the world, wondering what it would be like to see them with my own two eyes.
“One day, another duck came to the pond with its parents and brothers and sisters,” I read. “When he saw the little duck, they became best friends. They spent many days splashing each other in the pond and the little duck showed him all her favorite places there. But one day, the little duck had to say goodbye to her new friend because he had to go back home to his pond in Italy with his parents and his brothers and his sisters.”
Who the heck wrote this book? This hits terrifyingly close to reality!
“‘Come with me, little duck,’ he said. ‘We could fly together with my parents and my brothers and my sisters. I can show you my pond and we can splash and play there together!’
‘Oh, but I can’t!’ the little duck cried. ‘How could I leave my pond and go out and fly into the big, wide world? The winds would blow me away and I would be lost forever!’
‘How sad, how sad!’ the beautiful duck shook his head. He looked back at his friend before he turned back to where his parents and his brothers and his sisters were waiting for him. Then, with a flap of his wings, he was soaring into the air until he was only a tiny dot in the sky.
The little duck watched him with tears in her eyes. She looked at the pond that she loved so much—at its calm waters, and its rustling reeds, and its sunlit surface. But it was no longer as beautiful now that her dear, dear friend is gone.
‘Whatever should I do?’ wondered the little duck. ‘If I fly, I could be lost in the big, wide world but if I never fly, I will never see my dear, dear friend again.
Her tears slipped into the pond, creating ripples in the calm surface. She cried and cried and cried until she felt her little heart would burst.”
