Page 11 of When We Feel


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And he will show her who he is.

And she will like it. She will love it, in fact. To her, that will be akin to feelings. She will probably rush to judgment, not knowing what I know.

Kai won’t be as easy as she thinks.

He won’t just put his heart on a silver platter for her. None of us will.

And that’s the thing.

She will need to carve them out of our chests if she wants them, and my prediction is that she will. She is that determined. And she has the power to do it.

But in the meantime… She’ll have her share of disillusionment.

It’s unavoidable.

“Yeah…” I say, brushing my hair back, a bit pissed. “I think I’ll do it now. I’ll go look for her,” I add, gripping my towel with one hand and holding it together over my groin. “Although I should’ve done it hours ago,” I add seriously.

Francisco looks at me as if I’ve grown a second head.

Kai doesn’t pay much attention to me, his phone humming with a message.

I bet it’s not her.

“Are you serious?” Francisco asks, unable to contain his surprise.

“Yeah. I’m going downtown. Do you want to come?”

“No, thanks.”

He’s not stupid.

He knows I just want to get out of the hotel.

Yes. He fucking knows. What he doesn’t know is the real reason I’m doing it.

I know what is about to happen, and I don’t want to be in the hotel when she comes back and Kai fucks her raw.

I know things will eventually get to that.

They’ll fight with each other. Or maybe not. But the outcome will be the same.

And the thought that he’ll be with her in a room while I struggle to fall asleep fills me with anger.

Unjustifiable. Irrational. Anger.

So, yes. I need to get out. Without a word, I spin on my heel and go straight to the closet.

I pick up a clean shirt, dress pants, and shoes, and having my clothes draped over my arm, I toss another look at them.

“You know how to let yourself out. And if I find her, I plan to spend some time with her before I bring her back.”

Humor tinges my voice, but none of them listen to me.

Maybe it’s too late. Or perhaps it’s too early. Or they are too tired.

Or maybe… whatever else consumes Kai is more important than this.

I don’t know what their problem is.

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