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But someone tells me they love me, and I come undone at the seams. I don’t want him to see me like this. I don’t want him to know that he’s my undoing. Where did it happen? I can’t put my finger on when exactly I fell in love with him, but it’s there, burning in my chest. It’s terrifying.
I have to get away.
“I can’t do this,” I snap.
“Do what?” Stone asks, the anger gone out of his voice.
I turn around and walk away.
“Raina,” he calls after me, but I keep going.
“Raina,” he calls out again. The pain in his voice this time nearly breaks me.
Chapter 16
Stone
I’m fucking furious. Who the hell does she think she is? She doesn’t have the sole mandate on fucking up, and she doesn’t have the right to walk away from me after it all.
Damn it, she’ll be the death of me. Since the day I met her, feisty as fuck and not at all impressed by who I am, I wanted her. Not just to fuck, although that was what I’d thought it was at first. I’m so damn deprived of affection, thanks to my dickhead of a father, that when it slaps me in the face I don’t recognize it for what it is.
But I know now. I know what I feel for her and what I want from her.
I want her to be mine.
When I learned that her father was a beater, I saw red. I was ready to wrap my hands around his throat and strangle the motherfucker myself. I’ve never cared about any of the women I’ve fucked. Usually, I want them gone the second I stop orgasming.
But Raina is different. I want to keep her safe, to protect her.
Damn it, I saved her from that son of a bitch, or at least…I tried to.
But I fucked that up too, didn’t I? That’s what I do. I’m so good at fucking up, I do it with my eyes closed by now. I just wanted to save her.
But that’s the thing about Raina. She stands on her own two feet. She fights back. She’s not a damsel in distress, and she doesn’t need fucking saving.
That’s where it all went wrong, isn’t it? That’s where everything changed. I want to be her hero, and she doesn’t need one. In fact, to her, every man is a villain.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Chaz asks when I join the guys in the cafeteria again.
“Nothing,” I snap.
“Doesn’t look like nothing to me.”
“Will you fucking let it go?” I say, raising my voice. Everyone in the cafeteria glances in our direction, curious about what I’ll do to create excitement next. I’m suddenly so sick and tired of it all—the attention, the envy, the expectation. To them, I’m someone who will provide a laugh. I’m someone who has the balls to be a rebel and do the shit they’re too scared to do.
I’m an idol.
I hate it. They’re all turning me into someone I don’t want to be, and I have to keep dancing to this beat I’ve created that I just can’t keep up with anymore.
I don’t want to be the bad guy, the one everyone is a little scared of, under all the praise and worship I receive.
When they all leave college, they’ll go on with their lives. They won’t remember me. They won’t think about me again. Maybe, one day when they have kids or grandkids, they’ll talk about the crazy son of a bitch at college way back when and not even remember my name.
What am I doing here? What is this all for?
“I’m out,” I say and get up. I walk out of the cafeteria, hands in my pockets, going…nowhere.
“Stone,” Chaz calls after me and catches up at a jog until he’s next to me. “Come on, man. What’s going on?”
