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“You’re the only one who knew what was going on. He overdosed.”
“People overdose all the time.” He says it with confidence, but he rubs his hands together and looks around.
“Where did he get the drugs to overdose, huh?”
“How the fuck should I know?” Stone snaps.
I fold my hands across my chest. “Oh, I think you know. I think you knowexactly.”
I can’t figure out what Stone is thinking. His face keeps changing from pissed off to nervous to guilty back to being pissed off. Something’s going on. I know it. Stone did something.
“I didn’t do anything, okay?” Stone says. “I just…”
“My dad was an alcoholic, not a drug addict. That was my mom. I know it was you, Stone. You gave him those drugs, didn’t you?”
“Not to fucking kill him!” Stone shouts. He looks around quickly before he drops his voice. “I told him I would give him all the drugs he wants as long as he left you the hell alone. Fuck! I did it for you. But I never meant to…” He swallows hard. He can’t say the words.
“You killed my dad for me? Do you hear how fucked up that sounds, Stone?” I shake my head. “You’re a fucking monster.”
He steps closer to me, his presence large and looming. When he steps forward, I don’t back up. I step in. He doesn’t intimidate me.
“You want to talk about fucked up?” he asks in a low voice. “Don’t act like you’re a saint. You cheat, lie, and steal all the fucking time. You’re here, riding your dishonesty like a wave.”
“I’m turning my life around,” I spit at him. “I can’t afford to go here. What’s the alternative, Stone? I won’t be a lowlife for the rest of my life because of what someone else did. Yeah, I’m doing shady shit, but it’s for the right reasons.”
Stone laughs. “You’re right, it’s totally okay to break the law when it’s for the right reasons. That’s how the dean will see it, too.”
“Are you threatening me?” I challenge.
Stone shakes his head. “Not at all. I’m just telling you it’s the same thing. I did something bad for the right reasons too.”
I’m not sure why anger drives me like this, but I’m so pissed off I can hardly see straight. I’m pissed off with my dad, although he’s dead now, pissed off with my mom for fucking leaving me in this hell hole and checking out alone, and pissed off at Stone for taking matters into his own hands when I asked him not to.
I’m angry with the world.
“What reason could you have for stepping in?” I ask, getting right up in his face. “I asked you not to get involved. Are you so full of yourself you can’t back the fuck down when someone asks you to?”
“Because I’m fucking in love with you,” he claps back.
That pulls me up short, and I blink at him.
“What?”
“You heard me,” he says. “I’ve fallen for you.”
He stares me down. We look at each other, eyes spewing fire and hands balled into fists as if we’re about to beat the living shit out of each other. He just told me he’s in love with me.
No one has ever been in love with me. No one haseverloved me, not the way they should have.
“You’re not,” I say.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“You’re just excited by the chase, theideaof me, because I’m different. You’re not in love with me.”
“Don’t tell me what I feel,” Stone says.
I shake my head. It feels like the world is crashing down around me. I can survive being beaten. I can deal with the death of my mother and my father. I can power on, charge through life, and not let any of the bad shit bring me down.
