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TWENTY-FOUR
“Who stole your Fruit Loops, son?” his dad asked as they strolled down the sidewalk in the neighborhood where Chandler at grown up.
Chandler was pleased to see how well his dad was recovering from his heart attack. He’d never be a hundred percent like he was before, but his dad didn’t seem to have any regrets. For the most part, he appeared to be enjoying this new phase of his life.
His dad’s illness had changed Chandler’s life, too. Sometimes, it was still hard to believe he was back, permanently—that his life as a SEAL, traveling all over the globe, was truly over. He still felt sadness at the end of that chapter of his life, but it also felt good to be back here in this place that meant so much to him. He’d forgotten how much he loved the old park down the block where his dad had taught him how to throw a baseball and shoot a basket. The weather was sunny and warm for the time of year, and all the trees and plants were starting to green up. It was nice.
Well, except for the black hole of regret eating away inside him. Passing off Eden’s protection had damn near killed him.
“It’s nothing,” Chandler said, trying to play it off. Discussing cases with his dad was good. He valued his experience and liked keeping his dad in the loop. But this wasn’t business, and he didn’t want to get into all the personal stuff with Eden.
“Sure looks like something to me,” his dad said, glancing at him sideways. “How’s Eden doing?”
How the hell had his father known to target that subject?
“Fine, I guess.” Chandler swallowed hard against the sudden lump in his throat. He should leave it at that, but he couldn’t resist asking, “why?”
“No reason.” His dad looked straight ahead again, smiling. “Always liked her. Thought you two would make a good couple.”
“What?” Chandler tripped over his own feet and nearly face planted on the sidewalk. Thank God he had quick reflexes and was able to quickly right himself. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Not sure why you’d say that.” He’d filled in his dad about the case, but he’d never mentioned anything about how he and Eden had become involved. He supposed it had been foolish to think he could sneak something past his dad. Retired or not, he had decades of experience as an investigator, and those instincts didn’t just go away. Very little ever got past him.
“I don’t know.” His dad shrugged, a teasing glint in his eye. “Maybe because I’ve got two eyes in my head, and they work just fine.”
“You’ve never even seen us together,” Chandler protested. “What was there for you to have seen?”
“I’ve seen you, son,” his father countered. “And I’ve seen a difference between how you looked last week when you came over for dinner and how you look now.”
Chandler just scowled. They stopped once they reached the park and took a seat on a bench nearby to rest for a minute. Chandler was careful to position himself so as to avoid eye contact. It made him feel like he was an angsty, pimply fourteen-year-old again, but it was better than the alternative of trying to meet his father’s all-too-knowing eye. “There’s nothing between Eden Dawson and me, Dad. Not anymore, anyway. Just drop it, okay?”
Talking it over wouldn’t do any good. Not when he doubted Eden would ever want to see him again after yesterday.
“Sure.” His dad nodded and stared across the empty playground in front of them. “No need to get upset about it.”
“I’m not upset. I’m just tired of everything coming back to my emotions and feelings when all I need to do is concentrate on the work in front of me.” When he realized what he’d said, heat climbed up Chandler’s neck from beneath the collar of his T-shirt.
Shit. Just shit.
His dad’s gaze burned a hole through the side of his head. “Look, son, I know it’s none of my business, but I can tell you care for her. You’ve cared for her for a long time, haven’t you? All the way back to when you were younger, before you left for the SEALs.”
A litany of swear words kept going in his head. “That doesn’t matter because whatever might have been going on between us is over now.” Because he’d cut it off.
“That’s too bad. I’m sorry to hear it.”
“Don’t be. Easier for me to work on the case this way.” He squinted over at the far tree line. “My job was to protect her. Ever since she called me and asked me for help with her case, it’s been my mission. And it felt good to have a mission again. Almost like when I was in the SEALs. I missed the sense of duty, of being useful and valuable. Working our usual security jobs doesn’t come as naturally to me as it always did to you, but with this case, I felt like I knew what I was doing. It felt good.”
Now it was his dad’s turn to frown. “Son, you are very good at what you do. And you’re valuable to me no matter what. Just because your work is different now doesn’t mean you’re not perfectly capable and qualified to do it. I handed the agency over to you because I knew you could handle it—and in every respect, you’ve proven me right. I’m proud of everything you’ve done. Please don’t forget that.”
Chandler took a deep breath. “Yeah. I’m so great at my job that I couldn’t even keep her safe.”
His dad frowned. “Explain.”
He didn’t want to, but he didn’t see any way out of it. “Those attacks were too close for comfort. I should have been more alert, more on my guard. But I was too involved with Eden to protect her properly. If I can’t even do that, after all my training, what good am I going to be with the rest of it?” He felt hollow and stripped bare inside. “I failed her as a guard. The thing I’m best at. What if I fail her as a boyfriend too? Or a husband? Or a father?” He hung his head. “I have no clue how to do all that stuff.”
His father looked at him and burst out laughing. Chandler was so shocked that all he could do was stare at the man. He’d just laid his soul out there, his deepest fears and regrets, and this was the response he got? Then his dad sobered and shook his head. “I’m sorry, son. I just…” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Do you honestly think any one of us has a clue how to fill those roles? We’re all just making it up as we go along.”
Chandler snorted and looked away. “Whatever. You were the best dad ever.”
“Thanks for saying so, but I’m being completely honest when I tell you I had no clue what I was doing. I was scared shitless half the time.” At Chandler’s skeptical glance, his dad continued. “It’s true! Remember the time I was home from leave, and you swallowed a toy soldier?”
