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“Didn’t you, though?” she replied, deliberately keeping her voice calm and rational. They were going to talk this out like adults. “When I woke up at the hospital, I saw the looks you gave each other when the doctor asked about my memories of the past few months. You knew I was leaving something major out—that I’d forgotten about the murder I’d witnessed. But instead of telling me, you kept it to yourselves. You told my siblings to keep it from me, too. The only reason I found out was because Adam decided to ignore your request. Why did you do that?”
Her mom was wringing her hands. “Honey, we just didn’t want to upset you.”
“I know,” Eden replied. “But that doesn’t make it the right choice. I was in danger, and keeping me in ignorance of it didn’t make me safe—it made me oblivious. I didn’t realize that I needed to be on my guard, and that could have easily gotten me killed.”
The color drained from her mother’s face and Eden felt terrible. But she couldn’t regret saying it to them because it needed to be said. They all sat there looking at each other a moment. Her dad reached over to take her mom’s hand. Watching them, the ache inside Eden built to a jabbing pain. How many times had Chandler put his arm around her, squeezed her hand, held her while she cried in the past weeks? All the little shows of support that meant everything. God, she missed him so much.
Her dad hung his head as her mom said, “You’re right, honey. We were wrong not to tell you about the trial.”
“And we’re sorry,” her dad added.
Now it was Eden’s turn to get choked up. “Thank you. I appreciate it. So, we’re decided? From now on, we’re all going to work on being honest and open with each other.”
Her parents nodded. “And we promise not to coddle you anymore and to respect your right to make your own choices in life.”
“I hope you can agree to accept our support too,” her dad, reaching for Eden’s fingers and giving them a squeeze. “Because that’s what it is. Support. You’ve always been the most independent person I’ve ever met, sweetheart, and I admire the hell out of you for it. But please don’t go overboard and isolate yourself. We love you too much to lose you.”
And now she was full-on blubbering like a baby. Because she loved having her parents’ support—but oh, how she missed having Chandler’s.
She kept it together through the rest of dinner and the cleanup, then excused herself, saying she was exhausted and wanted to go to bed early, thinking sleep would help. It didn’t. The next morning, she felt like the walking dead and looked even worse. Good thing Lena was helping in the grooming van today because if any customers saw Eden, they’d run screaming from the place. So, she stayed behind the wheel or in the back, where no one but the dogs and her best friend could see her with her messy hair and no-makeup look.
“What’s wrong, hon?” Lena asked as they worked together to groom a bull mastiff named Slugger. Lena worked on the front half of him while Eden took the back. Considering the dog weighed over eighty pounds and was still growing, having two people on the job helped. Lena glanced back at her as she trimmed Slugger’s front toenails. “You look like hell.”
“Gee, thanks.” Eden scowled at the dog’s backside. Guess her view suited her outlook today. She snorted at her own joke in her head. “It’s just been a rough couple of days.”
“Want to talk about it?” Lena asked before clicking on the trimmers to work on Slugger’s footpads.
“No.” Yes. Honestly, Eden didn’t know anymore. Everything felt wrong and backwards since her fight with Chandler. Before she knew what was happening, she was telling Lena all about it. She spilled everything since the accident to her bestie, and unlike when she told her parents, this time she didn’t leave anything out. It was embarrassing and cathartic all at the same time for Eden.
“Wow,” Lena said, once she’d finished Slugger’s front half. “You guys are really over?”
Eden snorted. “That’s all you got out of everything I told you?”
“No, of course not—but you seem bothered by that the most, hon.”
Which…yeah, she couldn’t really argue with that.
“It’s just too bad, is all,” Lena continued. “I kind of hoped you guys might actually give this thing between you a real shot after the trial and all was over.”
“Well, apparently not. Since it never meant anything to him anyway.”
Lena chuckled. “We both know that’s not true. Come on, you must have seen how he looked at you. Whatever made him push you away wasn’t lack of feelings. My guess is Chandler’s scared.”
“Scared?” Eden snorted. “What would he have to be scared about? He’s the one with all the military experience and security background. And I’m the one being attacked.”
“I’m not talking about the job, hon.” Lena gave Eden the same look she’d seen her best friend give her kids when they weren’t getting it. “Emotions are a very different animal than logical, rational stuff. Most men have no clue how to deal with feelings too strong for them to control, and I’d guess a man like Chandler, who’s been trained to suppress his because of his work, probably has a harder time than most when it comes to recognizing and dealing with his feelings.”
Eden shook her head. “I don’t think it’s that. I mean, yesterday he shut me down so fast it made my head spin. If he had any sort of feelings for me, I didn’t see them.”
“Exactly. Because he didn’t want you to.” Lena shifted her weight and crossed her arms. “He’s a former SEAL, right? Big, tough, strong guy. Used to taking care of other people and dealing with missions.”
“Yeah. So?”
“So, how do you think a guy like that might feel when you came so close to dying and there was nothing he could do about it? When whoever is after you still managed to get to you despite all his efforts to keep you safe?”
“Well, I…” Eden’s scowl deepened as Chandler’s words from their fight the day before replayed in her head. The only way to complete this mission successfully is to get back to treating it like what it is. A case. At the time, him reducing their relationship to mission status pissed her off. But now, after listening to Lena, she wondered if she’d misinterpreted his words completely. What if his “we need to go back to a business relationship” attitude was meant to conceal the truth that he cared for her and was afraid of being distracted by it? Either way, though, he’d made the decision to push her aside. It was all so confusing and painful and difficult. “I don’t know.”
Lena snorted again. “Okay. If that’s how you want to play it. But I’d think you, of anyone, would recognize a defense mechanism when you see one. Since you use them all the time yourself.”
Lena left to return Slugger to his owner while Eden stewed silently over her friend’s words. Okay. Fine. She might be defensive. And Chandler might be too. But where did that leave them—other than apart?
