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"You're absolutely right," Quinton said in a subdued voice. He uncrossed his arms and ran one of his hands over the top of his short, dark hair. It was something he only did when he was either nervous or really frustrated about something. "All I can do is tell you how sorry I am, and hope like hell you forgive me."
Watching him nervously run his hand back and forth over the top of his head made me realize that I wasn't mad at him or upset any more. Frankly, I was relieved.
Quinton ignored the dirty looks the other guys gave him as he crossed the room towards me. The only one who didn't give him a dirty look happened to be Rain, and I wasn't surprised after he'd said earlier that he liked Quinton. I didn't think the others were really feeling the love towards Quint at the moment, and I couldn't say that I blamed them. If he'd said something about Rain sooner, this whole night might have been avoided. Then again, maybe not, you just never knew what the future held.
Quinton stopped in front of me and ordered, "Don't be mad at me anymore, Ariel."
I chafed at the tone of his voice and the order he'd given me. Part of it was having the freedom to finally argue and fight back with someone, the other part of it was me figuring out I really didn't like it when people told me what to do or how to feel. Quinton had a habit of doing both because he thought he knew what was best for me. But he didn't only save that part of himself for just me, but he dished it out liberally to all of the others as well. His bossing me around didn't exactly make me feel special.
"I'm not mad," I told him honestly, and it was the truth.
"Then what are you?" He asked quietly. Hid dark eyes bored into mine and it was almost as if he didn't notice the other people in the room and it was just the two of us having a private conversation; everything else ceased to exist for him. "You look like you're mad, and I can even understand why you'd be mad. But I know you, and if you say you're not, then I am going to believe you because we don't lie to each other. But, you don't look right; there's something wrong, I can tell. And it's not just you who doesn't look right. Dash and Damien are pressed up tight to you and hovering like there's some unseen threat in the room. I've yet to see anything threatening. So, I'm asking you, if you're not mad, then what are you?"
Now, that was a loaded question. What was I?
Hmm...
If I told him I was both relieved and terrified, I thought he'd take it the wrong way and lash out at someone. If that someone he lashed out at would have been me, then I might have actually told him the truth. When we were alone, and it was just the two of us, if he asked me again, I would tell him the whole truth and nothing but. I didn't want to say those two words in front of Rain, though, because I didn't want him to take it the wrong way. If I told Quinton that I was sort of terrified, then he would demand an explanation, and Rain was the reason I felt that way. If someone had said they were terrified because of me then I would have been completely miserable, and I would have gotten the heck out of here.
All out of options, I reached out and took hold of Quinton's hand. I pulled him towards me and he came without hesitation. I slid off of the counter and landed a whole lot less wobbly than I had before. I immediately moved into him and wrapped my arms around his middle. Quinton sucked in a sharp breath before he wrapped me up in his arms.
I hid my face in his chest and let my emotions get the better of me. I cried, but I did it silently.
No one called me a wimp or a girl for doing it, either. However, Quinton did get to see the top of my head when he hugged me, and he couldn't help but ask, "Why the fuck is your hair covered in blood? Do I even want to know? You know what? Maybe you shouldn't tell me, a man can only take so much bullshit from his woman in one day, and you still owe me for hanging up on me earlier."
Everyone else laughed quietly, but I didn't join in with them. Instead, I shivered, because I knew Quinton was going to make me pay for hanging up on him, and I was pretty sure I wouldn't be complaining when he did.
"You never do that," he whispered in my ear for me alone to hear.
"Do what?" I whispered back.
"Touch me first," he said.
I closed my eyes and rested my head against his chest, knowing he was right, and, judging by the approval in his voice, it was something I needed to work on doing more often. I shivered again, for an entirely different reason.
Chapter Twelve
I was seated at the head of the dining room table, which is where we'd moved our not so happy little party after I stopped crying in the kitchen. I sat with Quinton on my left and Rain on my right. Dash sat at the other end of the table with Julian to the right and Damien on the left. Tyson sat beside Quinton. Addison was between Rain and Julian, and Abel sat across the table from him, between Tyson and Damien. It had surprised me to see the twins separate themselves even if it was just the length of a table between them. This was a high emotions situation, and I had expected them to stick close to one another.
It felt weird sitting at the head of the table, and it wasn't a good kind of weird. Yes, I thought there could be good kinds of weird. I felt like I was taking up Quinton's place, and he'd only deferred it to me because he knew I'd want to be close to Rain, and Rain had sat down before any of us had.
From where I sat, I caught a glimpse of his hands in his lap where they'd been since he sat down at the table. His fingers were turning an angry shade of red from what I assumed was being clasped together too tightly. It was the only sign of emotion of any kind that I picked up from him. His face was blank, empty. The rest of his body looked relaxed sitting in the chair. His eyes were a lovely shade of green that matched mine when I looked in the mirror, but they were completely devoid of life. He was back to his version of the scary face. From the nervous looks some of the guys were shooting around the table at each other, I knew they didn't like Rain's scary empty face; it put them on edge, and I couldn't blame them. But, as for me? I was no longer afraid of Rain's empty look. It just made me sad, and I had to shove my hands underneath my thighs to stop myself from reaching out and placing my hand on top of his.
I had the strongest urge to comfort him, and it wasn’t something I was used to feeling.
Since we’d seated ourselves at the table mere moments ago, no one had spoken. Instead they were all eyeing Rain and sizing him up.
Binx was at the other end of the table. The little beast had eaten in the kitchen then wandered off. We’d found him out here laying on top of the dining room table, curled up in a little ball and fast asleep. Dash had his hand on the little furball, and was petting him, even though the cat seemed to be sleeping.
No one seemed to give a crap or bat an eye at the fact that the little guy was curled up on the table. I wondered if he'd been a small dog if they might have cared then. It wasn't important enough to ask, not when the entire room buzzed with tension, like it was just waiting for the wrong word to be spoken aloud before exploding.
From under the table, Quinton reached over and placed his hand on my knee. His fingers curled around my leg and he gave it a gentle squeeze. I looked at him to see his eyes were surveying the room and the men seated around the table. He was taking in their facial expressions, measuring their moods, and trying to read them. I wasn't even going to try. I knew none of them trusted Rain, and I knew a lot of them were angry with Quinton. And they were all worried about me.
I covered Quinton's hand with my own and held on tightly. He did look at me then.
"Are you doing okay?" He asked quietly.
I nodded in response even though it might have been a lie. My emotions were too all over the place for me to get a read on them. I thought I was okay, but just minutes before I had been silently crying and having a mini break down. Quinton was probably worried I would start crying again, and then he wouldn't know what to do with me, and that wasn't something I could blame him for. But, one minute I was upset and angry, then next I was subdued and normal, then the next, I was in tears. There was too much going on for me to take it all in and put it back out in a healthy way. I was failing miserably at handling myself. Quinton asking if I was doing okay was proof of that, and I didn't like that it was so obvious that I wasn't doing okay. He wouldn't have asked otherwise.
