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I couldn’t.
When I didn’t say anything, he simply held my gaze. The words I wanted to give him wouldn’t form in my mind, so instead of speaking, I lowered my head and showed him what I felt with a kiss. I pulled back to see his eyes had gone molten. I started to move, but before I could straddle him, he was already sitting up and reaching toward his nightstand. He withdrew something clasped in his large fist.
“I know you’re having a hard time. You don’t talk about it, at least not with me, and I understand why. But your power is volatile. You don’t have to keep struggling with it alone. You can talk to me, to any of us. I know what it’s like.” He opened his fist to show the necklace Sam had given me resting in his palm. “I took this back when we were all in your room, and I’ve been waiting for the right time to talk to you.”
“You went through my drawers?”
“I saw it when you opened your nightstand, and it was technically my stolen property.” He quirked a brow, and I couldn’t refute his statement. “When I first got here, everything people said to me grated like knives. You’d be amazed at how often people lie directly to our faces about the most inconsequential things.”
“And this really helped you that much?” I reached out and stroked the pendant with a fingertip, the large ruby glinting in the dim light from his desk.
“It did.”
“It didn’t seem to help me much when I wore it.”
“I think that’s because there’s a personal factor to it. It meant something to me, so I had a connection with it. Sam gave it to you without it being his to give. You had no connection to where it came from, so I don’t think it was very effective.” He grasped the chain in both hands and unhooked the clasp. As he lifted it toward me, I gathered my hair so he could hook it around my neck. “Now I’m giving it to you. It belonged to my family, and I want you to have it. I want it to help you channel your power, to strengthen your connection to it so you can master it.”
The pendant settled into the hollow of my throat perfectly, like it should have been there all along.
“Thank you.” My voice trembled, thick with unshed tears at the sincerity of his words.
It was his turn to lean in and kiss me, his full lips soft and warm against my own. I threaded my arms around his neck and held on tight.
A new layer of worry grew within me.
On top of finding out about my parents and trying to discover what Illyria and Day were up to, I still had to deal with the fact that my power was beyond my control. That I had killed four people without even meaning to.
I didn’t want to think about it. I wanted to lose myself in Varon, so I threw my leg over his lap and pressed our chests together.
I had barely settled on top of him when he shifted me onto my back and my legs wrapped around his hips. The kiss deepened, my lips parting to allow his tongue to plunge deep inside my mouth. I moaned at the taste of him, so different from each of my other men, so uniquely delectable.
I dug my fingers into his shoulder blades, careful not to scratch him with my nails. It was hard to resist when he made me ravenous for him. He was hard against my thigh, and now that I was fully rested after the first time, I was ready to go again. I reached between us and positioned his thick cock where I wanted him.
With no hesitation, he thrust forward, filling me in one stroke. I gasped, my head falling back, and he dipped his head to lick over my pulse as he ground his hips against mine. He laved my skin, his tongue leaving a scorching path in its wake.
“You’re fucking delicious, Killer,” he rasped against my throat. “No matter how much I couldn’t stand you, all I wanted was to taste you again.”
He drew back his hips, then punched forward hard enough to make me gasp. The perfect fullness was indescribable. He repeated the motion, then again, faster until he had worked up a rhythm that threatened to send me spiraling after only moments. I clung to him, losing the battle to keep my nails to myself. He hissed out a breath when I raked down his shoulders, thrusting even deeper.
“I wanted you, too. I hated myself for it, but I did.”
“I’m glad we stopped fighting it, then. Because this is the only pussy I will ever want.”
“Prove it.”
And boy, did he ever. He set a hard, fast pace that made it impossible for me to keep quiet. The only person I was worried about disturbing was Ben, but after a few minutes, I didn’t give a shit. He could put in earplugs, or go hang out somewhere else because there was no silencing my moans and cries.
“Are you going to come for me, Killer? All over me?”
Unable to speak, I keened and nodded, and he reached down to grab one of my legs and hook it over his shoulder. I shrieked when the head of his cock hit my g-spot perfectly every time he thrust inside me.
Once, twice, three times, and I shattered. My throat burned from how loudly I screamed, and he kept thrusting as my climax threatened to steal my consciousness. I expected him to slow down, to give me a chance to regroup, but instead he reached down and grabbed the other leg and it went over his other shoulder.
With a vigor unmatched by anything I had ever experienced before, he worked me to the brink of orgasm again in minutes. A sheen of sweat slicked our bodies, and our heated flesh slid together as his muscles bulged from his efforts. He was getting close, I could see it in the tension of his jaw, feel it in the pulse and flex of his cock inside me. I wanted to give him the same dirty talk he had given me, but I could barely catch my breath. I knew exactly what to do to set him over the edge, though.
I clenched my pussy hard around his cock, squeezing the muscles as tight as I could manage.
“Fuck,” he grunted, his rhythm faltering.
