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ChapterTwenty
Movement jostled me awake, but I kept my eyes closed and buried my face deeper into a warm, hard chest. Arms tightened around my waist, a deep hum vibrating against my cheek.
Varon.
I realized that body heat was missing behind me, and I cracked my lids and turned to see Sam’s spot on the bed was now empty.
“He went to go see what happened to Remy and Darrio.”
Varon’s deep voice rumbling in his chest soothed me, and I wanted to curl tighter against him and go back to sleep, but the mention of Remy and Darrio woke me the rest of the way. I lifted my head so I could see his face.
“What do you mean? Where are they?”
“If I knew that, Sam wouldn’t have had to go find them, now would he?” He squeezed my hip and stroked a warm hand up and down my side. “I’m sure everything is fine, Killer. You haven’t been asleep that long, and Sam’s just making sure they didn’t get caught up in anything.”
He might be right, but it didn’t assuage the worry that had settled in my chest. What if something was really wrong?
“Maybe we should go and help Sam find them.”
“I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted. Sam only left a few minutes ago, so he still has to get to opposite ends of the building to get to them.”
“But wouldn’t Darrio have come back to his room?”
“Maybe, but he might also be with Remy, or he might still be keeping an eye on Illyria. Just relax for now. If they need us, they’ll let us know.” The tension didn’t leave my body, and despite Varon’s reassurance, I was itching to get up and go searching for my men.
Ignoring my warning to Sam about touching my hair, Varon threaded his fingers through my curls at the nape of my neck. Those strong fingers massaged the tight muscles, and I allowed my head to drop back against his chest.
“It’ll be okay, Killer.”
“Now that we’re getting along, can we please stop with the ‘Killer’ nonsense?” Unfortunately, I couldn’t say that I had never killed anyone anymore, and not just because of Heath. The memory of the night in the alley crashed into me, only serving to increase my stress.
I needed to tell him. I needed to tell all of them, so they would know what they were getting into with me. I couldn’t control myself, and if they were going to be around me, they deserved to be aware of exactly what could happen.
“Nope.”
I rose on my elbow, looking down at him. “Why the hell not?”
“I’ll admit, at first the name was intended as an insult. But now, I’m glad you’re my Killer.”
I ignored the flutter in my chest at his possessive wording.
“Why would you be glad about something like that? That seems like the last thing to be excited over.”
“Because I know what you can do. I know that if you’re ever in a situation like the one with Heath again, you can take care of yourself. No one will be able to violate you, to hurt you, or to kill you. You can protect yourself even if we aren’t around to do it for you. I wouldn’t trade that.”
“But that doesn’t always work. It didn’t when Illyria and Heath had me tied up.” I could see him walking into that room where they had me tied to a chair, dripping confidence despite the fact that he was outnumbered. Even when I had hated him, I had never been so glad to see someone in my life. “And we saw what happened in the forest. What if something like that happens again?”
“Then I’ll have to show up again, won’t I? And this time, I’ll be bringing those three idiots along with me.”
“So you just plan to come to my rescue at any given moment?”
“That’s what you do for people you care about, isn’t it?”
Hearing him say he cared about me did crazy things to my chest, but I admonished myself to get a handle on it. Caring about someone didn’t equate to love.
Not that I loved him.
I didn’t.
