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“I understand.” It made sense, but my skin was prickling with trepidation. I’d been triggered before, but it wasn’t my ability to give life that had gotten out of control…
“I want you to relax, as though you’re about to meditate. Close your eyes and try to find your center. But I don’t want you to reach for your ability. Instead, stay in that limbo state and let your mind become unfocused.”
Was he about to try to hypnotize me? And if he did, would I be able to resist it? There were several things that could end in my expulsion—at the very least—if he got me to admit to them.
“It’ll be alright, Thea, just relax. I’m going to ask you some questions, but if you can’t provide a verbal response, hold the visual in your mind.”
“Okay. I’m ready.” I wasn’t, but fuck it. I’d rather just get it over with than sit there freaking out about it. My eyes fell shut, and I sank deeper into the chair. Getting to this state was like second nature now, letting go of the present and the tangible like a step-by-step process I’d nearly perfected.
“Good. I want you to forget about everything here. Forget about Divinity, forget you’re a goddess. Think back to your past, the human life you lived before you knew the truth, of the people that were part of your life. The people who raised you.”
My parents. He refused to call them that, but that’s who they were. My mom and my dad. Whoever had birthed me could fuck off. Evelyn and Luther would always be my parents. I felt a phantom tingle on the little tattoo in the shape of Dad’s glasses on my wrist.
“You liked your life growing up. We know this from our observation of you and from your reluctance to let it go when you arrived.”
They’d been watching me? For how long? That was way too fucking creepy, and thinking about it threatened to pull me out of the trance-like state I’d slipped into.
“I want you to find your happiest memories. Think of them like bubbles floating to the top of a still pond, pockets of joy that will always rise through the murky darkness of life’s waters.”
Yeah, but bubbles pop. Had he not thought of that? He wasn’t very good at this.
“These bubbles will never pop, simply float atop everything else in your life so you can touch them whenever you like.”
Okay, well, that was a little better, even if he might be a creepy mind reader.
“Reach out and take one. Lift it from the water and look inside. What do you see? Tell me who’s there with you.”
This wasn’t something that could come back to bite me in the ass, so I shared. “My mother.”
“And what are you and Evelyn doing?”
“We’re at home. She’s doing my hair before prom. We couldn’t afford to have it done professionally, and they would have burned my hair anyway, so she did it for me. She’s trying not to cry, but she’s so happy.”
“How do you feel?”
“I’m excited and a little nervous. I want to have fun with my friends, but this is a big night for my boyfriend and me. It’s our first fancy date.”
“Why is this one of your happiest moments? What makes it special?”
“Mom is telling me how proud she is of me, of how I’ve turned out, even though she had to raise me on her own. She tells me how proud my dad would be if he were still with us.”
“What do you see in the room around you? Describe it to me.”
“We’re in my bedroom. I’m sitting at my desk with a mirror propped up in front of me. I can see my bed with a bunch of clothes thrown all over it. My dress is hanging on the front of the closet door. The walls are covered in pictures of my friends and me. There’s a vase of flowers on the desk, Jason gave them to me when he asked me to prom—”
“Tell me about the flowers. How long ago did he give them to you?”
“A few weeks. We already knew we were going together, but that was when he officially asked me.”
“And how do the flowers look now? Are they wilting? Petals falling onto the desk?”
“No, they’re perfect. They’re still fresh looking, and they smell beautiful. I smell them every morning before I walk out of my bedroom.”
“Is that natural, Thea? Should a bouquet of cut flowers still be healthy and smell fresh after weeks in a bedroom?”
My brow furrowed in the memory, like past-me was just now realizing that something was off with the blooms. He was right. They should have been dead by now, or at least well on their way.
“That’s your doing, Thea. Your joy, your youthful excitement and happiness caused traces of your natural aptitude for life to break through and keep them alive. You’re giving them life that they shouldn’t otherwise have.”
