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“Why are you avoiding me? What did I do to make you so angry?”
When he just stared at me with a hardening glint in his eye, my own temper started to burn brighter. I bit it back as best I could, not wanting to air our dirty laundry in the hallway. I wanted to keep some things private, and there were plenty of people who would eat up the drama between me and one of my men.
“You know exactly why I’m angry, Thea, and if you don’t, that’s an even bigger fucking problem.” The words barely made it past his clenched jaw, the muscle there ticking as he worked just as hard to hold back his fury.
“How about you spell it out for me? Because, problem or not, I don’t know what’s up your ass.”
“I don’t have time for this shit.” He turned on his heel to walk away, but I anticipated the move and darted around so I was blocking his path.
“Make the time. I’m tired of this and I want to know what your fucking issue is.”
“Let’s see, you push me away for weeks, finally let me back in and fuck my brains out, then disappear into the city in the middle of the night without so much as a text to let me know you’re alive. And then not one word of apology.”
“What are you talking about?” I hissed the demand at him, trying my best to keep my voice down even though it was a losing battle. “I came to you the next day—”
“And thanked me for my concern. Like I was some random stranger instead of someone who loves you, Thea. Of course, I came looking for you. Of course, I was scared shitless something might have happened to you when you took off after what happened.” He shook his head like he couldn’t believe he had to explain this to me. “And yet when you finally came to me, you thanked me for that worry, hugged me, and then walked away. If that seems right to you, then whatever we had is done, because we’re clearly not on the same page.”
I wanted to rail at him, to scream about how he was being a dick, but when I thought back, he was right. I’d never said I was sorry for not bothering to reach out. True, I’d been a little busy committing homicide, but he didn’t know that. How could he, when I hadn’t confided in him? He loved me and I’d scared the hell out of him. He deserved the apology, but now it was too late. I was too angry, and so was he, so any apology in that moment would be written off as perfunctory instead of genuine.
“Let’s talk about this later—”
“You know what? Let’s not. You want your space, you want your freedom to run off in the middle of the night without having to worry about anyone being upset… you’ve got it.”
A spear of pain lanced through my heart and I clutched my chest reflexively. The sorrow in his eyes didn’t do anything to lessen the hard set of his jaw, and guilt wracked me alongside the shock at his words. I shouldn’t be surprised, though. How long did I expect him to hang around when I was purposely distancing myself from him?
But did I want to be without him? Was I ready to step back and let him go? Of everyone, Darrio seemed to understand me and want to soothe away all my pain. And I liked to think he’d come out of his shell more with me, no longer avoiding eye contact with everyone out of fear they’d spontaneously combust with unmitigated desire. Could I throw all of that away because I was hurt by what the others had done?
No.
Hell no.
I wasn’t about to let their bullshit take away the one man who’d done me no ill.
“Darrio.” My voice shook with emotion, and his gaze dropped from mine to the floor. “Corndog, I’m so—”
“Ah, Miss Keres, I was hoping I’d run into you.” Professor Brodgan’s voice shattered the illusion of privacy that had fallen over us. Darrio’s eyes dropped shut. He drew in a deep breath, exhaling slowly before meeting my gaze again.
“I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you around, Thea.” He still hadn’t called me Red. That was the thought ringing through my head as I watched his back until he disappeared around a corner.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, Thea, but Ms. Day has asked that we resume our sessions to ensure you’re getting a handle on your ability. I’ve been busy with the start of the new term, but I’m ready for us to begin.” Brodgan’s voice came from behind me, and I wanted nothing more than to ignore him and race after Darrio. That would be a bad idea, though. He needed time, and I had no choice about participating in the extra sessions.
Schooling my face, I turned around and gave Professor Brodgan what I hoped was a bright smile. “No problem, Professor. I’m free right now, if that works for you.”
“Excellent. Shall we?” He held out a hand in the direction of his classroom and I headed that way. Brodgan fell into step beside me, but was blessedly silent. I was still trying to get my emotions under control, and small talk wasn’t conducive to that.
The walk to his classroom wasn’t long, but it was enough for me to put everything I was feeling about Darrio breaking up with me into a box to be dealt with later.
“Please, have a seat and we’ll get started.”
“Is anyone else joining us this time?” Other students had been sprung on me in the past and I was in no mood for a surprise just then.
“No, it’ll just be you and me today. We’ll do a bit of practical work, but mostly, I’d like to talk to you. Get you back in the right headspace after such a long break since our last session.” A few weeks wasn’t exactly “long” to me, but whatever.
“Okay, that sounds good.” It didn’t. I didn’t want to talk. I’d have rather spent the entire time meditating and trying to find my power within myself, but I couldn’t exactly argue, now could I?
I sat in the seat nearest his desk, but rather than sit behind it, he joined me in one of the other student chairs. The plush armchairs with the moveable side tables were probably more comfortable than his classic desk chair, but it was still odd.
“I want to talk to you about triggers.” He settled back into the chair, propping one ankle on the opposite knee and resting his hands on the arms of the seat. “Until you learn true control, there may be things that trigger your ability to come out and overtake you. Learning what those triggers are will help you avoid them, as well as learn how to lessen their impact on you.”
