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‘Pregnant?’ My eyes widened. ‘I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone.’
‘I wasn’t… I’m not. It’s complicated. I never had time for a relationship because I was always working… It was just something casual. He doesn’t want anything serious anddefinitelydoesn’t want me to keep the baby, so there’s been lots of arguments with him and stress. And then I’ve had HG…’
‘HG?’
‘Hyperemesis gravidarum. It’s completely wiped me out.’
I’d heard about the HG thing. That was the pregnancy sickness that Kate Middleton had where you suffered from extreme nausea and vomiting.
‘How far along are you?’
‘Fourteen weeks…’
Jesus.
‘Robyn, you should have told me.’
‘I didn’t know how to. I thought I could handle it. I tried to hold it together but I’ve been literally vomiting four or five times a day and I found it difficult to focus. That time I cancelled the Purity meeting, it was so awful I had to go to hospital.’
‘Shit!’ Morning sickness was bad enough. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what she’d been going through.
‘I didn’t want to let you down, Soph. You had a lot on your plate with moving to a new country and having a new baby, so I wanted to take care of things so you didn’t have to worry. I knew how important the business was and still is to you—to all of us. And I’ve wanted this kind of responsibility for years. Then just as I finally got it,thishappens.’ She put her hand on her stomach and started sobbing again.
As upset as I was about the business, I really felt for Robyn. I knew first-hand what it was like dealing with a surprise pregnancy and worrying that you’d have to do it alone. At least in my case, once Lorenzo had come back to London and explained what had happened, I’d realised that hedidwant to be a part of our lives. But the father of Robyn’s baby seemed pretty adamant about not being involved at all. Then on top of that she had the pressure of running a company for the first time and her illness… couldn’t have been easy.
‘Oh, Robyn.’ I went over and gave her a hug.
‘How did you do it, Soph?’ she took a tissue and blew her nose. ‘I mean, I knew it would be difficult, but it’s so much to handle. Dealing with all the staff and their issues, keeping the clients happy, overseeing the campaigns. I work late almost every night if my body allows me to and weekends and I’mstillnot keeping on top of things.’
By having no life, Robyn. That’s how.
I wouldn’t wish that on anyone I cared about. It made me sad to hear that Robyn was spending so much time at work that she had no room left in her life for a boyfriend or proper relationship.
It reminded me of me. How my life used to be. Before I’d realised that wasn’t a good way to live. Before I’d seen the light.
I could say with absolute certainty that doing all those long hours wouldn’t be good for Robyn and they definitely couldn’t be good for the baby. I didn’t want that on my conscience.
I was torn. On the one hand I felt for Robyn. Years ago the decision would’ve been a simple one:do whatever it takes to save the business. That would have been the most important thing. But after my dear friend Albert’s passing, my change in perspective, meeting Lorenzo and becoming a mum, I saw that Albert was right. Therewasmore to life than work. Yet at the same time, I couldn’t avoid the fact that, like it or not, the business was still my responsibility and the livelihoods of dozens of staff were at stake. If the company closed or we lost any more clients, how would my team pay their rent? How would they put food on the table?
‘Listen, don’t worry. I’m going to find a way through this, but I need you to go home and get some rest. We can talk on the phone tomorrow.’
‘Are you firing me? Please, Soph, I really need this job, especially now with the baby coming and—’
‘Of course I’m not firing you! There’s no way I’d do that. I knowexactlywhat you’re going through and right now I want you to focus on taking care of yourself and the baby.’
‘But, what about the clients and work…?’
‘I’ll handle it.’
‘Thank you.’ As she threw her arms around me, I could feel the desperation and relief melting away. Carrying this secret must have been eating away at her for months. ‘I’m so sorry to let you down.’ She picked up her coat and bag.
‘Just get home safely.’ I picked up my phone. ‘You’re still living at the same place, aren’t you?’
‘Yeah.’
‘I’ve called you an Uber. It should be here in a minute, so just wait in reception. We’ll speak tomorrow, okay?’
‘Okay.’
