AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘Yes…no…sort of. It’s just a bit sore…’
It wasn’ta bitsore. It wasreallysore.Very, very painful. Even more painful than losing my virginity. But it was to be expected, right? That was how the mums in those forums and the articles had said it would be. Like giving birth, I just needed to push through the pain barrier.
‘Maybe we can use something? Some, how you say? Jelly?’
‘KY Jelly. Um, yeah. That might help.’ I winced. ‘But I don’t have any…’
I hadn’t ever needed it before with Lorenzo.
‘The pharmacy is not open here on Sunday. But I can drive to the city.’
All the way to Florence?I couldn’t ask him to do that. And anyway, by the time he got back, I probably would have lost my momentum and wouldn’t want to do it anymore.
No. We had to continue.
Oh God.
Never before had I wished a guy was small as much as I did right now. I mean, because Lorenzo was big, the initial entry was always a bit of a shock to the system. But right now he felthuge. It was like there were two of him in there.
I didn’t know how much of this I could take. I know I was supposed to persevere, but honestly, this was awful.
But no pain, no gain, Sophia.
Reasanna piped up.
Childbirth was no walk in the park, but at the end of it you got Leo. A beautiful baby boy.
Baby.
I hadn’t even thought about the whole baby thing.
We were having sex and I wasn’t on the pill. What if I got pregnant again?
No, no, no!
One child was hard enough. Although annoyingly, people had already started asking when we were having another, I wasn’t ready to even think about that right now.
My whole body tensed.
I flashed back to being on the hospital bed, giving birth. The pain. What I’d been through down there. And now I was voluntarily putting myself through this?
Lorenzo thrust again.
‘Stop! Please stop! I’m sorry. I can’t!’ Lorenzo pulled out and rolled over beside me.
I didn’t want to give up, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I looked down at the sheets. Oh God. There was blood. I was bleeding.
I jumped up and ran into the bathroom and slammed the door.
‘Sophia,’ Lorenzo said softly as he followed me. ‘Are you okay? Please do not worry. Soph?’
‘I’m sorry. I just need to be alone.’
I heard Lorenzo return to the bedroom.
I sat down on the toilet with my head in my hands. I’d been so sure that I was ready. I’d finally got my libido back, I’d been relaxed, I hadn’t overthought, I’d just gone with the flow and I’d still failed.
Shit.
I know the mums said it would get better the more we practised, but after experiencing that level of pain, right now I couldn’t see how I would be able to bring myself to even want to try again.Ever.
