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Chapter Twenty-One
‘That’s fucking hilarious!’ said Roxy.
‘It wasn’t. It was bloody mortifying!’
We were about to order lunch and I was filling them in on what Roxy was now calling Spunkgate: when Marta had caught us in the act.
Lorenzo had booked a table at an authentic restaurant that was hidden within an old church. With its white walls, archways, and dark wooden tables and chairs, it felt very Florentine.
‘I don’t know why you’re so embarrassed. It’s perfectly natural and good for you. It’s definitelynothealthy for Lorenzo to be backing up his jizz for so long. And I wouldn’t worry about getting it on your face. Apparently it’s really great for your skin. Has moisturising properties. They call it afacialfor a reason!’ She cackled.
‘Roxy!’ shouted Bella.
She hadn’t changed.
‘You’ll get over it. Actually, I thought there was a chance we would walk in and interrupt you lovebirds today because we arrived at the hotel a few minutes earlier than planned. Bella said we should wait until eleven-forty, like we’d agreed with Lorenzo, but I was too excited to see you!’
‘I couldn’t believe it when I opened the door and saw you standing there. It was thebestsurprise! I know I keep saying it but seriously—I’ve missed you both so much!’
‘We’ve missed you too, Soph,’ said Bella.
We knew we had a lot to catch up on, so decided to order. Thankfully, Lorenzo had given Roxy and Bella a list of dishes he recommended and the best wines to pair with them. He really had thought of everything.
It all looked so delicious. I personally couldn’t wait to try thelinguine di pasta fresca con gamberettie asparagifor myprimi piattior first plate, which I managed to translate myself without looking at Lorenzo’s notes as meaning fresh linguine with prawns and asparagus.Go me.My Italian vocab was growing. Asparagus always made my wee smell, butwhatever. I was sure it was worth it.
Bella was itching to taste the creamed zucchini soup with octopus and pasta pockets stuffed with pear and Gorgonzola cheese, whereas Roxy wanted to get stuck into the crostini toscani for herantipasti(starters) plus Florentine steak for her mains, orsecondi piattias the Italians would say.
Now that our drinks and food were sorted, we could get back to chatting.
‘So…’ Roxy rubbed her hands together excitedly. ‘Come on, then:spill! Yesterday did you have anamazingnight of passion? Were you guys swinging from the chandeliers? I saw the size of that bed!’ Her eyes widened. ‘You probably spent hours rolling around on it. That’s why you look so tired. Bet you two were gagging for it after not being alone for so long. Must have been a sex-fest!’
‘Well, no…not exactly…’
‘What do you meannot exactly? That was prime time, Soph. You’re a mum now. These opportunities to go at it without a screaming baby or nosey mother-in-law interrupting you are like gold dust. Please don’t tell me you had a night alone with your Italian stallion and you didn’t do the deed?’
‘Nope. And to be honest we haven’tdone the deedas you call it since—since, er, Leo was born.’ I guessed it was time to start telling them the truth about how things were going here. Starting with my non-existent sex life…
‘WTF!! But Leo is what? Four months old now, isn’t he?’
‘Six.’
‘Six? You haven’t had sex for six months?’
‘Keep your voice down, Roxy!’ I replied.
Jeez.
If Lorenzo knew we were going to be chatting about stuff like this, he probably wouldn’t have recommended we dine in a former church. This conversation was far from holy…
‘Bloody Nora!!No wonder Lorenzo is spraying his spunk like a fully loaded machine gun. Poor guy must have been like a giant firework waiting to explode.Six months!’
‘It’s not unusual for a woman to not want to have sex after having a baby, Roxy.’ Bella rolled her eyes.
‘Exactly!’ I said. ‘Childbirth isn’t a walk in the park and my hormones are all over the place. I’m always tired. The only thing I want to do in bed is sleep. And if you think I look tired after the first night I’ve had eight hours of uninterrupted sleep in months, then I hate to think what you’d have thought if you saw me two days ago.’
‘Thank God I didn’t have children. I mean, I heard your sex life goes down the toilet after having kids, but I didn’t think that would happen to you.’
‘Well, it has,’ I huffed.
