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As a kid, I used to love to come out here, probably for the same reason I was there now. I liked the feeling of open space and quiet. Maybe I’d just stay here, I thought as I opened up the house. I went to the wine rack, opened a bottle of red, poured a glass, and then headed out on the large deck. The sun had set, but the moon shone brightly on the water.
My phone buzzed with a text. I picked it up to look at it, but then decided I wanted to go off the grid. At least for one night. I turned off my phone, and just sat letting the sound of the waves lull me into a meditative trance. I had no answer to my life. I couldn’t even begin to start to process my next step. But sitting there on the deck, I didn’t have to. Right now, I could just sit and be.
Another glass of wine later, I sat in a lounge chair, my eyes closed enjoying the slight buzz from the wine. I had no idea what time it was and didn’t care. When a knock came on the door, I ignored it. I wasn’t going to let anything invade this little sliver of peace. The only problem was, who ever it was wasn’t getting a clue that I wasn’t going to answer. After a few knocks, came the doorbell.
“What the fuck!” I stood up, striding into the house ready to give whoever it was a piece of my mind. I jerked the door open. “Can’t you take a fucking hint?” I stopped short when I saw Morgan.
Her eyes widened and she swallowed. “I’m sor — sorry.”
I closed my eyes and willed myself calm. “Sorry,” I murmured. “What are you doing here?”
She thrust something at me. “I brought you this.”
I took the envelope, wondering if was some sort of legal papers. I walked back into the house, not inviting her in, but not making her go either. When I reached the living area, I’d pulled the contents out, trying to discern what it was.
It was some sort of x-ray film with lots of dark and shades of gray.
Morgan came in, but she stayed in the foyer. “It’s our baby.”
My breath caught. I traced a line of gray, not knowing if that was the child, but needing to somehow touch it. My child.
“I texted you the next appointment. I asked her if we could hear the heartbeat and do another sonogram.”
My head jerked in her direction. “Heartbeat?”
She nodded, her expression still looking apprehensive.
I looked back down at the sonogram image. “I can’t make anything out.”
She came over to me. “This is the body, and here, this is the head. Isn’t it beautiful?”
It was fucking amazing. “Is it a boy or a girl?”
“I don’t know. She said it was too early to tell.” Her weight shifted side to side as if she was nervous. “Will you be there?”
“Yes. Yes, of course.” I looked at her. “Anything you need, Morgan, I’ll get for you and the baby.”
She gave me a small smile. “I know.” She cleared her throat. “I… I should go.”
I handed the picture back to her, but she shook her head. “No. You keep it.”
I frowned as I realized Morgan had come all the way out to the Hamptons. How’d she know that I was here? “What are you doing out here?”
“I, ah… I wanted to give this to you. I tried your place, but you weren’t there. I asked Beth and she said that Ash told her you were out here.”
“How’d you get here?” She didn’t have a car, and I didn’t think any sort of public transportation ran this late at night from Manhattan.
“Uber.”
Jesus, I wondered how much that cost her.
“He’s outside.”
By the time she got back to the city, it would be close to midnight. I might not want a relationship, but I wasn’t a complete asshole. “Why don’t you stay here? We’ve got room and I’ll drive you back tomorrow.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to intrude. I just… I wanted you to have that. I… I’d planned to give it to you when I told you.” She looked down for a moment. “I’m so sorry, Kade. I know it’s too little too late, but I’m wracked with guilt at how I hurt you. I’d do anything to make it right again.”
I looked into her eyes and could see the truth of her words. They were sincere and earnest.
“Do you think I’ll be a good father?”
“Yes, absolutely.” She smiled. “You’re good at everything.”
“Not everything. I wasn’t good at making you understand how I felt about you.”
Her smile faltered. “That was my fault. I… I never had a man love me before. I wanted to have what Beth and Ash have, but I couldn’t let myself believe it was something that would come true for me.”
