AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I went to the refrigerator and got the milk, pouring myself a glass. As I shut the door, I saw the little sonogram picture I had of our baby that I’d gotten at last week’s appointment. Why hadn’t I taken that to him? God, why couldn’t I do anything right?
“Honey? What can I do for you?” my mother said.
“Just be there for me, Mom.”
She stood and wrapped her arms around me. “Always, baby. Always.”
33
Kade — Monday
“Aren’t you going after her?” Hunter asked.
I shook my head. I wanted to. God knew I wanted to. But I didn’t trust her or myself. I wasn’t going to allow myself to be vulnerable again. Not to her; not to anyone.
“What was she talking about?” Chase asked. “Is she pregnant?”
“Since when did you get to be so slow?” Ash said. “Yes, ahe’s pregnant. Kade is the father.”
“Christ. That’s a lawsuit — ”
“Shut up, Chase and listen. Or at least look at your brother and see that he’s in pain. How do you not recognize it? He looks like you did when Sara went missing,” Ash chastised Chase.
Chase blanched, but looked at me. “You’re in love with her?”
“Was. I was in love with her.”
Hunter gave a small laugh. “There’s no past tense, bro. You’re still in deep. That’s why it hurts so fucking bad.”
“How would you know?” Ash asked.
“I’m not immune to heartache. I was smart enough to keep going after my woman, though.”
“It’s not the same,” I said. I felt so tired and just wanted to climb in a hole and hide.
“Why not?” Hunter asked.
“She didn’t tell him about the baby. In fact, she let him believe it was someone else’s,” Ash explained.
“That is fucked,” Chase said. “The old me is saying we could revoke her loan. The new me says we can’t play that dirty.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to retaliate.”
“What do you want?” Ash asked.
I wanted my fucking heart to start beating again. “What I want doesn’t exist. The possibility of it died when I learned she wasn’t going to tell me about the baby.”
“Hey man, she fucked up for sure, but the woman in here just now would crawl over broken glass to fix things with you. You sure you’re ready to let that go?” Hunter said.
I looked at him. “How can I get past it?”
He shrugged. “You choose to. You can live your life like the sorry fuck you are at the moment — ”
“Jesus, Hunter,” Ash chided.
“Or you choose to be happy with the woman you love. Seems easy enough to me.”
In the past, I’d have made a comment about his being a simple-minded jarhead, but I didn’t have the energy to do even that.
“Man, he is a sorry sack,” Chase said.
“What’s wrong with you two?” Ash said. “Chase, you were way worse than this with Sara — ”
Chase’s eyes narrowed. “Her life was in danger.”
“Loss is loss. Jesus, don’t you have any compassion? And you,” Ash said, looking toward Hunter. “If Grace was here, she’d be kicking your sorry ass for kicking him while he’s down. He doesn’t need you fuckheads hassling him. He needs his family, his brothers, to support him. For once.”
“What does that mean?” Chase said, sounding indignant.
“He’s right,” Hunter said.
“What? You don’t think I support Kade?”
“You’ve always resented him,” Ash said. “We all did a little bit. But he’s a Raven. We all know heartache, but we also have a family to go home to.”
“He could too, if he forgave her,” Hunter said.
I stood, wondering why I was there anyway. I didn’t need to be there for them to talk about me like I wasn’t.
“I’m going to work.” I started out of the conference room.
“Hey, Kade.”
I stopped at Chase’s voice. “I’m sorry she hurt you, man. Really. I… if I can help you, let me know. Whatever you need.”
“Thanks.”
I headed to my office, locked the door, and turned off my phone. Then I just sat, trying to figure out if I could live my life like this or if I had the guts to risk one more time.
At five, I figured I could leave without being hassled about being a slacker. Not that I’d gotten any work done hiding in my office. I headed out of the building and into my waiting car. I loved living in New York City but lately, it felt too crowded and loud.
“Listen, when I get home, I’m going to pack and then I’ll need you to drive me out to the Hampton house,” I said to my driver.
“Yes, sir.”
I called Ash, telling him I needed to get out of the city but would check on the properties in the Hamptons while I was away.
“Take some time. Catch your breath,” he said.
That’s exactly what I needed. I hadn’t felt like I’d breathed since hearing about the baby. I packed and was back in the car within fifteen minutes, and two hours later, we pulled up to my parents’ beach home.
