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“You mean you were never sexual with a man?” She’d been a virgin, but surely, she’d had boyfriends.
“Well, yes, but I’d never really dated either. I was a virgin at that too, I guess. I’ve learned a lot from you, Kade. Not just sexually, but how to be in a relationship, and how it’s important to say how you feel even if it scares the bejeezus out of you.”
“How do you feel, Morgan?”
“I love you.”
Her words covered me like a blanket. I wanted to wrap myself up in it, but my brain clanged with warning bells. This was the woman who’d lied to me. There was no excuse for that.
“I was a virgin, too.”
She quirked a brow and pursed lips at me. “I know that’s not true.”
“I mean a relationship one. I never loved a woman before you,” I clarified.
Her breath hitched, and I saw hope come alive in her eyes.
“I suppose I didn’t do a very good job telling you that. I thought I did. I felt like a lovesick puppy, the way I kept finding excuses to be around you. But I guess I was never explicit about how I was feeling.”
“You were clear enough when you said you’d wanted more than casual. And when you offered to care for the baby when you thought it was someone else’s.” Her voice caught on a cry, as her guilt over about that overwhelmed her again. “That was such a heinous thing for me to do. I can hardly live with myself knowing I did it.”
“What do you want, Morgan. If you could have anything?”
“You and the baby. And my mom. All I need is family and for everyone to be healthy. If I had that, I’d be the richest woman in the world.”
“You truly believe that?”
“Oh, I know it. I grew up among the affluent. I’m pretty sure most of them were miserable. Mom and I had almost nothing, but we were happy. You see, when you don’t have all this,” she said, motioning to the opulence of the beach house, “You have to find contentment in yourself and those around you. Mom and I would cook together. We’d figure out how to make beans and rice into something different each time we made it. Mexican, Caribbean, Italian. I know more ways to make beans and rice than anyone, I bet.”
“Fusion.”
She smiled. “That too.”
“I cooked with my mom.”
Her smiled turned brighter. “Then you know what I’m talking about. You were close to your mom. I bet your happiest memories are with her. Not with your toys and travel and money.”
She was right. And over the last few months, my happiest memories were with her. My worst one was too. The question was, would I allow one wrong move get in the way of all the happiness we could have?
My mind flashed back to when my mom was so sick, dying from the cancer that finally took her. I’d cooked crepes for her, as they were her favorite dish of mine. I’d had to feed her.
“I bet you wish I was some Greek Adonis feeding you right now,” I had said.
My mother’s smile was weak, but I saw the glint in her eyes. “Don’t tell your father, but I plan to seek out Adonis first then when I get to heaven.”
I hated hearing her talk about her death, but I tried to smile.
“Kade, baby, promise me you won’t let your father bully you into losing yourself.”
“I promise, Mom.”
Her hand reached over and gripped mine. “Don’t patronize me. I love all my boys. But I’ve seen what he’s done to Chase. He ran Hunter off to war. Ash is a shell of himself over the loss of the McAdams girl. But you — you’re still here.” She put her palm on my face. “You’re full of life and love. You know what’s important. This, here and right now, is important.”
I pressed my hand over hers. “It’s the most important, mom.”
“Don’t forget that. The money; the prestige. It’s nothing without love.” A few days later, she was gone.
I realized now that I’d failed her. I had lost myself, just like my brothers had. But they’d found their way back. Not through some dumb scheme of my father’s to force them into marriage, but through the love of a good woman.
I remembered the dream I had weeks ago, the night after her restaurant opening. In it, I was here at the beach house surrounded by family. Initially I’d felt apart from my brothers and their wives and kids. And then Morgan had appeared, round with child. My child.
“It this real?”
“If you want it to be.”
I looked at Morgan. Yes, I wanted it to be real. It could be real. It was real. She was standing here now in the beach house. My child was growing inside her. All I had to do was reach out and grab the happiness that dream showed me I could have.
