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“Has he ever done anything like that before?” Erin queried.
“God, no. I mean, when I have been alone with him and he has been drinking, he can get a bit pushy. But I’ve known him all my life. At one time I thought I would marry him. I guess it is my own fault. I led him on too much. He has actually been very patient with me. I should have just let him have sex with me already.” Alexandra hung her head.
“Alexandra, NO. Absolutely not. You should never have sex with someone because you feel like you should. This was not your fault. He was a brute. A vile pig. Nobody should ever behave like that. Your body is not his property. I’m so sorry, I should have acted sooner. I just didn’t know for sure what to do. I didn’t want to interfere. I wasn’t sure what you wanted.” Erin felt angry at the man who had hurt her. Erin felt angry at the world that made this incredible woman believe that something like this could possibly be her fault.
“Erin, I cannot thank you enough for being there and for what you did. If you hadn’t been there it would have been so much worse, I’m sure. He wouldn’t have stopped. I couldn’t have stopped him. He is so much bigger than me.”
“Of course,” Erin replied. “That is what I am here for. I will always protect you. I just wish I could have done more. I wish I could have intervened earlier. Before it went that far.”
There was a gentle peace between them as Alexandra washed herself and Erin sat quietly next to her, the scent of amber and vanilla heavy in the air. The whole experience was surreal, but Erin found her heart full with love for the Princess. She wanted so fiercely to protect her and care for her, but evil had come for her, from where it was least expected. Erin knew she had to be better at her job, but at the same time feared for what might happen if Lord Hugo accused her of assault. Hopefully it would never come to that.
Back in Alexandra’s bedroom, wrapped tightly in her fluffy robe, Alexandra said, “Erin, will you hold me? Please?”
Their eyes met and it seemed on one level like the most natural thing in the world and on another level deeply inappropriate. Erin agreed to and opened her arms and Alexandra folded into them like a troubled child, her face to Erin’s breast, her hair damp through Erin’s shirt.
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sp; They stayed like that for a while, Erin stroked her face and her hair. Alexandra cried. Day to day, this woman was so tightly wound. Day to day, she could never let anything out like this. Erin gave her strong arms in which to collapse into.
Erin kissed the top of her head, before she had even thought about what she was doing. Alexandra didn’t move. Maybe she hadn’t noticed. Maybe, they could both pretend that hadn’t happened. Probably best if they both pretended none of this had happened.
Alexandra fell asleep in Erin’s arms eventually and Erin gently and quietly tried to extract herself and leave Alexandra on the bed without waking her. She found a big blanket and put it over her sleeping form.
For a moment she looked at the Princess’s troubled face in the hazy light from the lamp. Her eyelashes flickered lightly as she dreamed.
Then she pulled herself together, remembered who this woman was and who she herself was, and she turned and walked away.
In the world we live in, that kind of love does not exist.
7
The following morning all was quiet as Erin attended the 7am security briefing, her personal training and the gym. Nobody had a clue what had happened the night before, and she wasn’t about to tell them. She headed back up to Alexandra’s suite to find it a hive of activity. All of the girls preparing Alexandra for her day of public engagements. Everything was going ahead as usual. Alexandra was disturbingly normal and there was no sign of the vulnerable girl from the night before.
“Morning Erin.” Alexandra’s lovely voice was as normal and warm as ever as she sat patiently in hair and make up as Alicia worked away at her, her face deep in concentration.
“Morning Ma’am,” Erin was back to the professional. Back to work. Forgetting what she had seen last night, the Princess’s stunning naked body still etched in her mind.
“Morning Erin,” called Jess, busying around everyone. “Be ready for 11am departure, you have the schedule, yes?”
“Yes, got it, thanks Jess. I’ll be ready.”
And that was it. Back to another day as the Princess’s bodyguard. As though nothing had ever happened. Alexandra was troubling with the ease at which she slipped into her public persona. She was so talented at being the Princess that everyone wanted to see.
Erin noticed that she wore a light cashmere sweater with very long sleeves that almost extended onto her hands. She wondered if Alexandra had mentioned her bruises to Natalie and if so, how she had explained them away. It felt like the truth was too much. Too much for Alexandra, too much for a Princess. Too much for her adoring public. Telling one person would mean that person telling one or two others and those people the same. People couldn’t resist sharing stories of royalty, rumours of celebrity, nuggets of personal information about those who are like us but different. Those who are born to higher things. The journalists wait like vultures. They love Alexandra, and the opportunity to publish Alexandra as the ‘almost-rape-victim’ with the perpetrator her ‘boyfriend’, Lord Hugo, would be the fleshiest corpse for them to feast on. Alexandra was fiercely private and clearly didn’t want that story in the papers. Her relationship with Lord Hugo had been closely guarded throughout although Erin was shocked to hear that they had never had sex. She wasn’t sure how it worked for royalty, but surely they were allowed to have sex before marriage? Surely they didn’t all sit around virginal, waiting to only have sex for procreation of future heirs?
Erin wondered for a moment why Alexandra had trusted her. Because she had. There had been no desperate ‘Please don’t tell anyone.’ this morning. There had just been normality and moving on. Dealing with things perhaps the only way Alexandra knew how. Over the weeks Erin had spent in the palace, it had become painfully clear that there was nobody Alexandra was really close to. It was obvious watching her life, how guarded she really was.
They headed out later that morning to a Charity lunch for one of the children’s charities that Alexandra supported. She looked thoughtful and distant in the back of the black Range Rover as they drove. Her driver was cheery and she said a happy ‘Good Morning’ to him and asked about his children, then she went back to mute. Erin remembered the rules fine today and didn’t create conversation. It was a long drive in silence.
The Range Rover pulled up at the Berkeley hotel. Erin jumped out, there were paparazzi there already and after a quick scan and the nod from the Security who were already there, she opened the door for Alexandra. The Princess stepped out, as graceful as ever, walking in heels as if she had never worn anything else. She smiled, brighter than the sunshine and posed for photographs, lovely, genial, everything the people wanted to see.
Erin escorted her through the huge entrance hall, beautiful marble flooring and columns surrounding them, they walked straight through to the ballroom where the event was being held. Alexandra’s public self was shining, her patience endless as she shook hands with person after person, asking them about their lives, focussing on them for those few minutes, fixing them with her intense eyes, making them feel like the only person in the world.
Erin liked to watch her work at events like this. The Princess was truly gifted. Or perhaps had honed this craft just through a lifetime of practice. How much of it was the real her? Erin wondered if Alexandra even knew what was real any more.
The lunch passed, the Princess spoke in front of everyone, her every word captivating. After the lunch, her people still wanted more of her. A little more. A little touch from Royalty. A photo with her perhaps. Or another conversation. They wanted to touch her hand. They wanted anything they could get from her.
The day passed without incident and Alexandra retired to bed early in the evening and dismissed the staff.
