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Erin wished she could go to Alexandra. To care for her; to love her. But it wasn’t an option. She couldn’t just go round and see how Alexandra was. It was as if their intimacy from the night before had just been silently erased when they fell asleep.
Erin lay on her bed restless and her phone rang, it was her mother. She toyed with the idea of ignoring it again, but decided against it. She swiped to accept the call.
“Erin! Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick! I’ve not heard from you for weeks! I called you so many times. I even texted you!”
“Mum, I told you, I’m working for the Princess. It is full on. I can’t just answer my phone whenever I feel like it. This is a very important job, you know.”
“Oh yes honey, of course. I have told all my friends about it. Did you see that photo of you with her in the Daily Mail the other day? Faint and in the background, you are, but it is definitely you. It would be better if you could stand right next to her next time you see cameras then you can get right there in the photo.”
Erin sighed.
“So, what’s she really like? This Princess Alexandra? She always seems so wonderful. Our country is very lucky to have someone like her leading the way,” her mum asked.
“Oh, erm, yes. She is lovely. Wonderful. Very kind to everyone she meets.” Erin responded.
“Oh, that’s brilliant darling. I can’t wait to tell your father.”
Erin’s mother launched in to tell Erin everything that had happened in her own life recently without Erin asking. Erin left the phone on the bed while she went to clean her teeth and when she picked it back up, her mother was still talking.
The phone call lasted an hour. Erin managed to tolerate it, purely as a distraction from thinking about Alexandra, from wanting so desperately to go to her and see if she was okay. She couldn’t do that.
Erin found herself distancing herself more and more from her own life and immersing herself in her role as Alexandra’s shadow. There wasn’t a huge amount to lose from her own life. She felt better with less contact with her family. Sophie would text sometimes and Erin just wouldn’t respond. She had no interest anymore. None at all.
Alexandra was her life now.
8
The next morning, early horse riding was scheduled, so immediately after the security team briefing, they headed out to the country estate where the horses were stabled. Erin wasn’t sure she was strictly needed on horseback for this as technically the cars could follow at a distance round the estate, so she asked Alexandra.
“No cars, Alexandra said to the team. I’ll just have Sergeant Kennedy with me on a horse. Keep everyone else as far away from me as possible.”
The crisp early morning frost clung to each blade of grass and the calm was loud in it’s silence. Erin and Alexandra mounted their horses. Alexandra’s lovely face was pensive so Erin kept a respectful distance and resisted making any conversation. The horses walked quietly through the cold, their hooves the only sound. Fog hung on the air where their breath was.
After twenty minutes, Alexandra began to talk.
“I like this, you know. It is my favourite time. Out here, in the morning, with the horses.”
“You don’t mind the cold?” Erin asked.
“No, not at all,” replied Alexandra. “When I was a child, I would come to the stables and ride at every opportunity. I wish I had the chance more often as an adult, but, well, you’ve seen my schedule. I have a pretty busy life. A lot of commitments.”
“Hugo was apologetic the next morning,” Alexandra continued. “Of course he was. He could have been in so much trouble for what he did.”
Erin was surprised to hear Alexandra bring it up.
“What will come of it?” Erin asked, curious.
“Nothing,” said Alexandra. “I will never tell anyone, and I would appreciate it if you could keep the same discretion. I have told him to never speak to me ever again. His loss is greater, you see. He potentially could have married the future Queen, but now, he never will.”
“You think you actually would have married him? Lord Hugo? Even before all of this?” Erin asked.
Alexandra sighed a deep and world weary sigh. “Oh, perhaps not. I was with him because the public needed something to see. The press needed something to photograph and write about. There wa
s never anything real there.”
“You said before you had sort of been in love with someone before? Or you thought you were at least? Why couldn’t you marry him?” Erin asked.
There was a moment of silence as Alexandra thought carefully about her answer.
