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“Is that all you think of me?”
I sighed. “No. Of course not. It’s just, we haven’t hashed anything out. All we did was acknowledge that we’re attracted to each other. And you’re seeing April now. Whether or not that’s what you intended. You said you were coming home alone tonight.” I didn’t mean for it to sound like a reprimand, but it did.
“This isn’t tonight, is it?” he answered.
“That’s what I mean. You’d never be content with just one woman.”
“You like fucking Brant,” he shot back.
“Of course I do. Jesus, what’s not to like? He tells me I’m beautiful, tells me I can have anything in the world that I want, and then proceeds to give it to me. And only me.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Really?” I growled. “Did you just say that to me? You’re the one who set me up with him. If he was a douche, why would you do that? Or are you just sowing conflict where there was none?”
He grabbed my shoulders. “I just don’t understand why, after two dates, you’d be so quick to trust him.” He looked away and down at his feet. “And me, after five years, you don’t.”
“In all the time I’ve known you, you’ve never had a committed relationship.”
“Yes, I have. With you.”
I hated that his words made me warm. They shouldn’t have. “So then what was that conga line of women through your room?”
“They meant nothing to me.”
“So why would give your body to someone who meant nothing to you?”
“You don’t understand.”
“No, Kieran. I don’t.” I shook my head.
“This is it then? You’re picking Brant?”
Fear knifed me. I wasn’t ready for the possibility of us to be over. I’d only just realized it was something that could happen. “I’m not picking anyone. Brant and I—” I didn’t know what we were and I didn’t know how to define it to Kieran. “—I’m not going to treat him badly, Kieran. Not even for you.”
“What would you do for me?” he demanded. “I offered to stop seeing April.”
“But I didn’t ask you to and I’d never ask you to be shitty to her.”
“Maybe you should. Don’t you want to know how far I’ll go for you? You said Brant offered you the world. What was his quest?” I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or not.
I bit my lip and the sound of my heartbeat thundered in my ears like crashing waves. “You.”
“I’m not sure I understand.” He cocked his head to the side.
Jesus, but he was beautiful. I couldn’t believe I was standing here, having this conversation with him. The hard line of his jaw, the sullen, bad boy set to his mouth, the way his hair swept over his forehead as if it too had something to rebel against.
“He said that the three of us had chemistry together,” I blurted. I hoped he understood the implication, I wasn’t ready to say it out loud.
He blinked owlishly. “Seriously?”
Kieran seemed surprised. “Yeah.”
“Is that what you want?”
“I don’t know what I want. I mean… there’s you.” I shrugged.
“Yeah, me. I’m nothing special, lass.”
“Have you looked at yourself?”
“Every day.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “So what’s supposed to happen here? Did he leave so we could get started? This isn’t a porno.”
I giggled, but it wasn’t really funny. “No. He told me to sort my shit and I’m trying.”
“Is it sorted then?”
“I don’t think so.”
“I love you, Claire.”
If anything he’d said before hit me hard, this was a fucking freight train. He loved me, but was he in love with me?
“I love you, too.”
“Then how is Brant even part of the equation?”
“Because I’m afraid.”
He cupped my jaw. “Of what, me?”
No, of me. Of my own failure. Of my own faults. He was just too everything. He was too beautiful, too perfect. He was like the sun and he’d burn me if I got too close, or even stared too long. “You can have any woman you want. So could Brant.” I exhaled, and before I could rethink my word choice, I said, “I’ve got a pretty face, but—”
“But nothing.” He yanked me against him hard. “Do you feel that?”
Oh, I did. I felt his arousal pressed against me and I almost didn’t believe it. “Yes.”
“Who do you think that’s for?”
This was everything I wanted, so why was I holding back? Brant knew I wanted Kieran. I’d told him. I’d told him I didn’t want anything serious as well. So what stopped me?
