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“I’ll drive you,” he said. “It’ll be quicker.” He put his arm around her and guided her through the side yard. “You left your handbag in the living room. We’ll go in through the front to get it.” He gave her a worried smile. “Less questions that way. When I get back, I’ll explain to my mom what happened.”
She came to a stop and looked at him. “I should tell her myself.”
“You don’t want to do that. She’ll grill you about what’s wrong, give a lot of unsolicited advice, and it will take an extra twenty minutes to get out of here.”
“Thank you.”
The smile turned genuine. “Of course.”
He escorted her to the car and quickly delivered her to Kathy’s front door.
“I’m going to check in on you in a few hours,” he said. “I hope that’s okay.”
Because he cared. Because he wanted her to be all right. He really thought she was sick, rather than a coward who was too scared to accept what he offered.
She nodded and quickly escaped, before she confessed her flaws and saw the affection in his eyes change to contempt.
Kathy was gone, and the house was quiet. Shaye hurried up to her bedroom and changed into yoga pants and a T-shirt. She stretched out on the bed, suddenly feeling sick to her stomach—perhaps her body punishing her for the lies.
“I didn’t have a choice,” she whispered into the silence. “Everyone would have been upset.”
She would have ruined the evening. This was better. She would lie low for a while, then end things with Lawson. She only had a few days left at her job. Once that was done, she would leave for Seattle and start over there.
This time she would be smarter. This time she wouldn’t get involved with anyone. She would keep to herself and stay emotionally safe. If she didn’t care, she couldn’t love. Without love, there would be no loss. It was a sensible plan. A lonely one, but that was very little to pay for an intact heart.
Two hours later, Shaye received a text from Lawson asking how she was feeling. She couldn’t stand to tell him they were finished just yet, so she said her stomach was much better and asked him to tell his parents how sorry she was to miss out on the dinner.
An hour after that, Kathy knocked on her closed door.
“I heard you weren’t feeling well,” her landlord called from the hallway. “I have chicken soup and Sprite downstairs, if either of those would help.”
Shaye thought about telling her to go away, but knew she couldn’t repay Kathy’s kindness that way. She rose and crossed to the door.
After pulling it open, she said, “I’m feeling a little better. Thank you.”
Kathy looked at her and sighed. “Oh, dear. This isn’t good, is it? Why don’t you come downstairs and tell me what happened?”
Shaye followed dutifully. Once they were in the kitchen, Kathy put water in the kettle and set it on the stove, then started assembling a plate with cheese, crackers and some sliced nectarines. When the tea was ready, she put a mug in front of Shaye, then took a seat at the island.
Shaye nibbled on a piece of cheese to buy time, but eventually she knew she had to speak.
“I miss my mom and dad.”
Kathy nodded slowly. “Of course you do.”
She fought against tears. “We found out about my dad when we got a call from his supervisor, telling us he’d been rushed to the hospital. Thankfully, I was home for spring break. By the time we got to the emergency room, he was gone. It was just so fast, and there was a surreal quality to the whole day. My mom was so quiet, so still until we got home, and then she lost it. She cried for days.”
Shaye wrapped her hands around the hot mug. “That’s what I remember most. Her pain. It was a living creature in the house. She couldn’t function. I arranged the funeral, made the calls. She’d always had health issues, and after my dad passed, she didn’t get out of bed for three days. Finally she got up and tried to help, but then she would start crying.”
Kathy rubbed her back. “That was a lot for you to deal with on your own.”
Shaye nodded. “Her friends helped. Mine didn’t know what to do. No one else had lost a parent, and they mostly hovered. Plus, I’d been living somewhere else since I’d started going to college. I felt disconnected from what was happening, but I knew I couldn’t leave my mom on her own. I left school and my apartment there and moved back home.”
“You were her rock.”
“I tried to be.” She thought about that time. “It was strange to be back, especially with him gone. We just kind of clung to each other, waiting to hurt less. I got a job and reconnected with my high school friends.”
“But you lost the ones you’d made at college. The ones who were more in tune with your future plans.”