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Shaye grinned, kind of liking the free-for-all grilling. If she could handle this, she was tougher than she’d realized.
“I like children very much and would like to have a few of my own one day.”
Norma smiled at her daughters. “See, a good answer. What about prison? Have you been?”
Shaye couldn’t help laughing. “I have never been arrested, so no prison time for me.”
Lawson walked in just then. “Mom, what are you asking? Prison?”
“Your father and I saw a show about young people in prison. It’s not a good place to be. You should avoid it.”
“Thanks for the tip,” he said, taking the peeler from Shaye. “We’re going back outside.”
“She wants babies,” his mother said. “That’s a good thing. I said it was good, and I know you agree.”
He eased Shaye out of the kitchen and onto the back porch. “I am so sorry.”
She laughed. “Don’t be. I like that she’s direct. You always know where you stand with her.”
“Yes, but don’t say that like it’s a good thing. Next up she’ll be grilling you about our sex life and telling you to make sure I always wear a condom.”
“But we don’t have a sex life,” she said, intending the remark to be funny, only to realize it wasn’t at all. Longing filled her, and she swayed toward him.
He stared into her eyes. “I’m very clear on that. You know why, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me.”
She smiled, confident in her answer. “Because you care about me and us and you want both of us to be sure. Sex too early tends to change things and not always in a good way.”
“Yeah,” he said softly. “That.”
Chapter Nine
Shaye enjoyed watching Lawson interact with his family. The love they shared was obvious, even from a distance. There was plenty of teasing and jokes, but also concern and support. Lawson might be the third in age, but somehow he was the head of the group of siblings. His sisters obviously looked up to him and wanted to know what he thought, and his brothers-in-law considered him a friend.
She liked that. She liked how his mother said what she thought and how his father still chased his mom to steal a few kisses. It was the perfect way to spend a few hours, and while she should have been delighted to be part of things, as the evening progressed she found herself sinking into a bone-crushing sadness that she couldn’t seem to shake.
Yes, being with Lawson was great, and she liked his family, but it wasn’t hers. No matter how many hugs she observed, her parents would never hug her again. She had no siblings, no extended family. At the end of the day, she was completely alone. And while that was awful to think about, risking caring again seemed so much worse. She simply didn’t have it in her to give her heart again and have something bad happen. She couldn’t deal with one more loss.
Having her previous boyfriend behave so badly had hurt her pride and made her feel awful, but her heart hadn’t been touched. He hadn’t had the ability to steal his way inside enough to truly matter. But Lawson was different—she could love him. And then what? What if he didn’t love her back? What if he did, and things progressed, and then he changed his mind? What if he died? What if they couldn’t have children?
There was too much potential for her to be emotionally devastated, and she wasn’t going to go there. Not again. It wasn’t worth it. Better to stay separate and not risk the pain.
With the acceptance of that as her life’s destiny came the need to run. She couldn’t stay here, couldn’t pretend. Only she wasn’t going to tell Lawson the truth—not now. Not like this. So she excused herself from the kitchen and went out back to find him.
He was talking with his father but stepped away as soon as he saw her.
“What’s wrong?”
Because he could read her that well.
“I think I’m getting sick,” she lied, pressing a hand to her stomach. “Maybe something I ate. I don’t know, but I’d like to go home.”
“Of course. Give me one second.”
He returned to his father’s side and spoke to him. Henry glanced at her, his expression concerned, then he handed over a set of keys to his son. Lawson came back to Shaye.
